Guess what day it is? Wax Day. Now that deserves a woop woop. Shutup Al and J-Si. Is it weird that I look forward to this day each month? I really wish there was just some sort of deluxe mobile grooming service. Maximus the pug is getting serviced on Friday and I don’t understand why the human version doesn’t exist. I want to move through a car wash style system where I choose the services I want. Maybe I don’t need the waxing today? Maybe I want a coat of spray tan? The amount of time that could be potentially saved if I didn’t drive all over town for different services. On a monthly basis, I am getting manis, pedis, waxes, a massage, hair coloring, spray tanning. The thought that I could get that all done in a 2 hour window in a van (hopefully with windows), makes me mad about all the wasted grooming years.

Anyways, on a more intimate grooming level, do you remember that time I had braces for 8 minutes? Yesterday was the day to get my Invisalign off after 10 months of trying to be disciplined enough to wear it. My two front teeth needed a little forcing that the plastic trays just couldn’t do. So, my brilliant and improvisational orthodontist, Dr. Gupta, put two brackets on my front teeth and had me to the equivalent of 6 month braces in 8 minutes. I look awesome. I actually always wanted braces when I was young, so I guess I got that to check off the list. Now my teef are straight at least.