I feel like I’ve disappointed my dog that he won’t live to see me get married. Does that make me crazy? I truly feel like he is disappointed in me. I know he remembers people and gets mad when he hasn’t seen someone he loves in awhile. He def knows that sorta kinda nothing ex straight up bailed on him. Maximus must be thinking “my mom can’t keep a man around”. As much as I don’t care about having an actual wedding, I was quite looking forward to the time that Max and I made a home with someone. He is so much happier with more attention, and I feel like he gives me this look of defeat whenever I walk in the door alone. I know this sounds ridiculous, but just go with it. He must be physically feeling better at least, because he’s ravenous and frisky and never satisfied. Sounds a lot like me actually. His custom denim jacket for his denimxdenim birthday party is too snug now. The vet said this means he’s feeling better since he has gained some weight back, but he is not going to look sleek in his jean vest….that I custom ordered….from Australia….expedited. I know what you’re thinking and yes, I’m losing my mind.

Maybe it’s just that I don’t have a lot going on personally, so it’s easier to throw everything into the few things I love. It wasn’t until my girlfriend turned to me at dinner the other night and said, “I feel like all I do is work and pilates. Then I’m home alone watching TV”. So I’m not the only one who spends the majority of their days totally alone? I guess I just feel like I have zero human interaction other than at work. Sure I do errands some days, but honestly I have no real interaction with anyone after leaving the studio. My life is work, working out, pug stuff, deciding what to eat, then crushing a bag of Pirate’s Booty. That’s it. Is this normal? Are you like me too? Ever since my friend told me this, I decided it’s just ok that this is what my life consists of.

In a need to do some soul searching or just do something more fulfilling, I am considering using my 4th of July vacation and doing something volunteer-related. I honestly want to go take care of lions for a week. How in the world do I go about finding this kind of thing? If anyone has an idea, I would love to hear it. I only have a week though, so not tons of time.