Bullies
So the other day we're at a lunch celebrating my sisters graduation. There's a group of 20 something and there are kids at the end of the table with me. We were talking about school starting up and the 12 year old on the end started talking about how she's a bully. I was caught off guard to hear her say this.
I was never really a bully in school. I've never been popular in my entire life. In fact I was the insecure fat kid who stood there quietly so that I wouldn't get made fun of. It was just easier that way. At least then I knew that nobody could make fun of me for anything more than the way I looked. But in my own insecurities I would think about and laugh at stuff that kids would say about other people.
One kid I will never forget is Jonathan Cromwell. There was nothing different about him other than the fact that he didn't run fast. I still don't know what caused it, but I can remember us doing relays in gym and everyone laughing when he would run. One time we were outside after lunch and he came up to me and said something and then ran off and I laughed. just like everyone else did every time he would run. He turned around and told me to shut up, but I just kept laughing. I thought I was so cool. I finally had something in common with the other kids. I laughed at Jonathan.
Now it's been a few years and I feel horrible over this one instance. I can imagine how he felt anytime someone would laugh at him and I was one of the people who made him feel that way. Even if it was just one time that I laughed, it doesn't matter. I should have never been one of the people to do that.
I know that all this guilt and thought 15 years after the fact doesn't help anything. But it's n my mind. Especially now that school is starting back up and kids have the chance to start over fresh. THey can make the decision that they won't be the person to laugh when everyone else does. Maybe they won't have any regrets at the end of the year.
I know that this one instance may not seem like a big deal, but it really does bother me to know that I laughed at him. Obviously or I wouldn't be going on and on about it now. If I ever see him on the street I will apologize. Until then all that I can do is encourage kids not to bully and laugh at kids who aren't like them. It doesn't make anyone feel good about themselves, so just don't do it.
I was never really a bully in school. I've never been popular in my entire life. In fact I was the insecure fat kid who stood there quietly so that I wouldn't get made fun of. It was just easier that way. At least then I knew that nobody could make fun of me for anything more than the way I looked. But in my own insecurities I would think about and laugh at stuff that kids would say about other people.
One kid I will never forget is Jonathan Cromwell. There was nothing different about him other than the fact that he didn't run fast. I still don't know what caused it, but I can remember us doing relays in gym and everyone laughing when he would run. One time we were outside after lunch and he came up to me and said something and then ran off and I laughed. just like everyone else did every time he would run. He turned around and told me to shut up, but I just kept laughing. I thought I was so cool. I finally had something in common with the other kids. I laughed at Jonathan.
Now it's been a few years and I feel horrible over this one instance. I can imagine how he felt anytime someone would laugh at him and I was one of the people who made him feel that way. Even if it was just one time that I laughed, it doesn't matter. I should have never been one of the people to do that.
I know that all this guilt and thought 15 years after the fact doesn't help anything. But it's n my mind. Especially now that school is starting back up and kids have the chance to start over fresh. THey can make the decision that they won't be the person to laugh when everyone else does. Maybe they won't have any regrets at the end of the year.
I know that this one instance may not seem like a big deal, but it really does bother me to know that I laughed at him. Obviously or I wouldn't be going on and on about it now. If I ever see him on the street I will apologize. Until then all that I can do is encourage kids not to bully and laugh at kids who aren't like them. It doesn't make anyone feel good about themselves, so just don't do it.
Add a Comment
-
Comment by ALLAN on November 6, 2009 at 1:28pm -
I was made fun of, teased, harrassed and physically abused by bullies all through middle school up to junior high. So much in fact that when I could I dropped out of high school. First it was because my mom was cuban and we lived in a small town in California. That compounded by the fact that we were dirt poor. Then we left to Florida and I took it all again, this time for being poor, talking funny, wearing the same clothes over and over again, and for being white in a black school. I hated white people at that time. Hated them! I was always in fights when the teasing got so bad that my temper got the best of me. Even now I can almost hear the names and snide comments that everyone else thought was so funny. I had a crush on a girl, wrote her a message and asked her to "go with me", she laughed and told me that no, she had a reputation to watch out for. Of course this was done publically. Even after I got big enough that I towered over my classmates it seemed that everyone was spoiling for a fight. I was accused of having mano by the guys in one of my classes, when one of the girls lifted her nose while looking at me and asked "Who would ever kiss you?" I actually got insulted two times in contrasting directions in the span of just a few moments. I hated school for that reason.
I've come back out it by now. I think around 23-25 I left it behind. Just the same, I am very pleased to see or hear that you (Debra and Shannon and Laqurl) can be remorseful of your actions early on in life. In fact, to tell you the truth I can't say that I would have any problem with your small transgression as I would have welcomed just a minute of being in the "In Crowd". Can't blame you for that for which I so secretly longed for. Desperately longed for.
-
Comment by Lagurl on August 20, 2009 at 12:50pm - My situation doesn't involve laughingat/picking on another child but rather at a volunteer cathecism teacher. I thought it would be "cool" if I said something unkind to her during one of our classes. Everyone in the class laughed and it was more important for me at that time to impress my classmates than to impress her. MANY years later I ran into her at church and gave a sincere apology for what I had done to her. Of course she didn't remember the incident but was grateful that I apologized. She passed away not to long after that. I am so glad I took the opportunity to tell her how sorry I was. RIP Mrs. Dot!
-
Comment by Debra Watts on August 19, 2009 at 2:41pm -
I couldn't agree more. I was like you in school. I've been chubby my whole life. I just kept quiet, figured that as long as I was quiet I wasn't really drawing attention to myself, so other than the fat crack on me every now and again, I wasn't the main target. And then there was this kid, he had a stuttering problem, and in class one day he said something very sweet to me in class, he told me he thought I was pretty...instead of letting anyone know how happy it made me that anyone called me pretty, I looked at him with a straight face and said "well I think you're p-p-pretty too...pretty stupid" everyone in class laughed...I laughed, excused myself to the bathroom, and cried....Seriously I still have dreams about that. I feel terrible about it. If I had a chance to tell him how sorry I am, I would.
I agree with you, I hope that more and more kids learn to treat each other the way they want to be treated and that making fun of people, for ANY reason, does not make them cool, will not help them make true friends, and it will only leave them with feelings of sadness after the fact.
Thanks for posting!
© 2009 Created by KKITM
You need to be a member of Kiddnation to add comments!
Join this social network