I just got back from the kids kids trip. And now its back from the land of everything that’s perfect and magical to everything that is real. It was 4 or 5 days of smiles and happiness and little javarise was just one of the kids that headed from the airport to the hospital. In his case, he had to go to take yet another treatment for his leukemia. Im praying for you buddy.
Being surrounded by the kids on Monday that were dealing with their different conditions made me remain silent on what I had on my mind. Sunday night, Melissa called me in tears. Even though we had broken up a while back, I still trusted her to baby sit my dogs. One of which is “special needs.” Stretch is my blind, diabetic doggie. Ive had her for 13 years. apparently sometime Sunday evening, she had a serious seizure. Panting hard, fever, and foaming at the mouth. She sent me a text saying she thought that stretch was dying. I was asleep. But when she called. I woke up. she rushed her to the all night doggie hospital and they put an IV on her along with giving her some valium and some anti seizure medication. This all happened between 11pm Sunday night and 3am Monday morning. She called me about every 30 minutes to keep me posted. She stayed at the hospital for a while and then at 2ish, it was time to decide whether to bring her back to my house or leave her there. She called to update me. The vet explained the options. Leave her there and they could monitor her or bring her home where Melissa could be there but rather helpless if she had another seizure. Then the vet broke down the cost. It was already $530. And if she stayed the night, it would be $1000 or more. With no guaranty that she would live either way. Melissa brought stretch back to my house. The vet also painted a pretty grim picture as to what I could expect.
Melissa put her in my bathroom so my other dog wouldn’t bother her. stretch was drugged up and had no problem sleeping. All day on Monday while we were talking to the kidds kids and all of their problems, all I could think about was my doggie. It was so hard to focus. Anyway, stretch was pretty groggy Monday morning and of course, Melissa had to go to work. All I could think about was whether or not stretch was having another seizure and no one was home. I called the maintenance guy here and he finally came up to check on her and said that she was moving slow but she was ok.
When I got home from the airport, she was still disoriented but she was alive. I took her down to pee and she couldn’t walk the whole way. I had to carry her. she kinda was walking like she was drunk. Walking, stopping, staggering, it was not good. I sat in our dog park and I just cried. Wondering if I should see if she would get better…or should I put an end to her pain? Or is she in pain? Having your pets life basically in your hands is a heavy feeling. But having this to deal with the night I get home from the kidds kids trip is super hard!
(written this morning)
There are so many feelings going thru my head right now. On one hand, im sitting here asking myself how in the heck do I think its up to me to decide when my little “stretch” is done fighting her fight. I mean, shouldn’t she be allowed to live out her life? On the other hand, this has been my baby girl for over 13 years. Over thirteen years, she has been right there at my door when I walk in every day or every night. For over 13 years, I have taken her out to pee. When she got diabetes, she kept fighting. I gave her her insulin shots everyday and she never gave up. When she went blind, she showed me that she didn’t need eyes. I would let her out of the back door and she would go find the perfect spot and she would find her way right back up to my back steps and into the house. She never met a person or another dog that she didn’t get along with. She knew married al, she knew separated al. she knew divorced al. she knew limousine driver al. she knew radio al.
As I was walking her last night out to use the bathroom, she stopped. We were walking and she just stopped. Shes never done that before. I picked her up and carried her. On the way back, she did the same thing. This morning at 2am was really bad. For the second night in a row, she had a seizure. Jerking and convulsing and even foaming at the mouth. It was really bad ya’ll. I just gave her some syrup, (sugar), it seemed to help a little and I just spent the next 30 minutes or so laying next to her on the floor. The funny thing is that normally queso, my younger dog, is normally all up in my kool-aid when im giving stretch attention and she’s not getting any, but its like she understands that stretch is sick. She didn’t bother me once. So, as stretch calmed down from her seizure,, I pretty much decided that it was time to let her go. I don’t want her to suffer.
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