big alf the elf!

Continuation from the weekend rap up…
If you didn’t hear it, go to the kpod and give it a listen… in fact, I’ll just post the lyrics.

Ok, Friday night was I dressed up like an elf
Half did it for work and half did it fo my self
It was national dress up like santa and go out and drink day
You know my friends, always looking for a reason to party anyway

So I didn’t drive to this party, I was trying to be responsible
Don’t want to end up locked up by the county constable
Had my keys and money stuffed away in my buddys glove box
Had on green tights a red shirt, a red hat and high tops

no pockets in my elf suit, so I put my phone in a friends purse
if I lost my black berry, man, that would be the worse
we walked from club to club, spreading our Christmas cheer
some were dressed like santa, even had a reindeer

round midnight, it was time for me to call it a night
id been drinkin since seven, I was feeling alright
but wheres the guy I rode with, he’s got my car keys
wheres the chick with my phone, I need help please!

All Dressed up like an elf and I got no place to go
Friends are all scattered around, I don’t have any dough
No way to call anyone, no phone and no numbers
Tired and cranky to say the least, this black elf needs to slumber

Ran into a buddy, told him what I was going thru
He said heres my room key dog, im in room 422
Thanks dude, check you later, he stayed out a while longer
Went up to his room and crashed, what else could go wronger

2 hours later he comes up and hes hooked up with a chick
they’re all kissing and hugging and trying to undress all quick
my eyes got big. The girl saw me. She looked at her date and said
umm why is there a black guy dressed like an elf in your bed???

I was so tired I just rolled over and said don’t let me disturb ya
Not really sure what happened next, homie, cant say I heard ja
Next morning, we’ve all done it, talking bout the walk of shame
But have you ever done it dressed like an elf, dude it aint the same….

Wow… what a night… no phone, no money, no keys
Thank God a got a number that night.. Flynn fletcher…
thanks for your help



Ok, there you go…now, here’s the rest of the story!


So, I borrowed money from my buddy. After all, I did wake up dressed like an elf in his hotel room! Haha ok, so I did end up taking a cab home from the hotel dressed like an elf from the night before. I guess I could have called my mom but lets see…”mom, can you please come bring the house key of your grown ass son? He’s at a hotel. Its 7am, and hes dressed like an elf!” that would have been great!!! I got home hoping that my next door neighbor would be awake. They have a spare key. I knocked and knocked and no luck. Either they were sleeping hard or maybe even out of town. I still have no phone, no keys, no money and im dressed like an elf. I tried every window around my house. All locked.
After an hour of sitting on my porch… yes, still in full elf attire, I remembered there was a key hidden from a long time ago. I looked and finally found it… I was in. but still no way to contact anyone. I reached into my “elf tights” and pulledout this one phone number from the night before. I used my home phone and called “flynn.”

She ended up coming to my house and being a life saver. She actually went with me, still dressed like an elf” to do a bit. The solo Christmas caroler… which was the reason I had the costume in the first place. REALLY!

Saturday afternoon I went to watch some college football and before I could even sit down, my friends pointed out a girl that was sitting alone at a table close to theirs. So i sat with her. this girl was somewhat attractive but she said herself that she just kind of rolled out of bed and came to the restaurant. She hadnt washed her hair and jst had on sweats and a tshirt and a hoodie. We ended up talking all evening and even going to another spot to watch the late game. We ordered a pizza and had it delivered to the bar.
The next day, she texted me that she had strep throat. I made her my famous beans and rice and meat in my crock pot but she was too sick to eat so I didn’t get a chance to take it to her. ☹

She made me promise to not mention her on the air so I wont go much into much detail about her… but I think she may come to our Christmas party this Thursday which will make this the first Christmas party that ive had a date for in years.

Sunday was pretty low key. Church, breakfast at moms, made the beans for my sick friend that never got delivered and that was about it.