Leaving is the Hardest Part
My first Kidd's Kids trip was such a better experience than I anticipated. I figured that I would be very emotional for the duration of the trip but that wasn't the case at all. I cry at infomercials about dogs so of course I figured I would be inconsolable when I surrounded by these kids. In reality, coming home was the hardest part of the trip. As I put up all of my trip pictures on Facebook, I just started crying thinking about how I might never see any of these kids and their families again. I know it sounds weird-it sounds bad to say aloud, but I wish that I didn't get so emotionally affected. If I could just have a good time with them and come home with happy memories, things would be so much easier. Instead I have been sitting here thinking about how much those kids touched me and I will never have the opportunity to help them again. I feel that it might stem from being an only child and having some attachment issues. My dad left my mom when I was in college and after that I started putting up a wall. If you don't let anyone in, life is much less painful when they leave. That may have been my mentality but I was never very good at it. I always kinda hated being an only child and I love the chance to be around kids. They are just so full of love and seeing their eyes light up when they see you is the best feeling. I didn't want it to end! I think I was more sad leaving than any of the kids!
Add a Comment
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Comment by D-Fan on November 12, 2009 at 3:12pm -
That’s why Jenna is my favorite. She seems to really care a lot for others.
Everyone is nice but Jenna is a little special
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Comment by Heather Jo is Team Edcob!! on November 11, 2009 at 9:11am - Awww Jenna your blog touched my heart. I am an only child as well ( i have step siblings but didn't grow up with them) and I have the same mentality as you do about walls. Always have been that way. It does get easier to let people in the older you get. You have a heart of gold and I know those children and their families were just as touched to have met you and to have spent time with you as well. Thank you for posting those pics on FB, they were amazing to look at. It allowed us to catch a glimpse of what fun you guys had at Disney World.
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Comment by Tiger on November 11, 2009 at 8:44am - Sometimes the best therapy for ourselves is helping others. It keeps us humble and makes us realize how fortunate we are. It also helps to have real connections with people and children are the easiest to connect with in my opinion. They aren't cynical or bitter about the world yet and just love life. Hopefully over time, you will use this experience as motivation to help others. This will probably be an experience you won't ever forget. Perhaps it's the beginning of breaking down the wall you have put up.
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