my weekend
Friday night I tried to beg off going to that dinner and party. But when I found out my friends were going, I couldn't stay home. I think I looked pretty cute. Pale but cute. I should care more about my skin coloring before I head out the door, but I don't. I figure my paleness isn't quite so obvious in dim lighting. But cuteness is completely wasted when you're in a room of nothing but gay men. And Josh and Patti. I found myself looking around at tables filled with other gay men and their lone woman. What is it about all of us lone women who surround ourselves with gay men?
I remember when Russell was here and a gay friend of mine walked up to the table where we were having dinner, made a few rude jokes that had me roaring and left. He said to me, "I wish I could make you laugh like that." And that's the problem, I think. Straight men don't make me laugh like that. So when I'm without a man in my life, rather than sit around and sulk about my loneliness, I surround myself with hilarious gay men. I wonder if those other lone women are in the same position?
Oh, and Russell is getting back together with his ex-girlfriend and he's going to marry her. Nice little punch in the gut. Maybe she laughs harder at him than I did. There were probably a million things I should've and could've done differently, besides the laughing thing. I blew it. I always blow it. And I was supposed to be going to see him this coming weekend. I should be giddy with anticipation right now instead of sick to my stomach that I drove a man back to his ex-girlfriend.
I spent the weekend mostly indoors, too intimidated by the heat to go outside. My electric bill is going to be the death of me, if the sweltering house doesn't get me first. I'm forcing my child and my nanny and the dogs to live in the dark, shades drawn, ceiling fans on, with the a/c on as little as possible without feeling like I'm abusing them. The two times I did venture out were to do a little discount shopping. And I also begged invitations from my neighbors to let us come over to swim. This summer is going to kick my butt. I can already tell.
XO
Kellie
I remember when Russell was here and a gay friend of mine walked up to the table where we were having dinner, made a few rude jokes that had me roaring and left. He said to me, "I wish I could make you laugh like that." And that's the problem, I think. Straight men don't make me laugh like that. So when I'm without a man in my life, rather than sit around and sulk about my loneliness, I surround myself with hilarious gay men. I wonder if those other lone women are in the same position?
Oh, and Russell is getting back together with his ex-girlfriend and he's going to marry her. Nice little punch in the gut. Maybe she laughs harder at him than I did. There were probably a million things I should've and could've done differently, besides the laughing thing. I blew it. I always blow it. And I was supposed to be going to see him this coming weekend. I should be giddy with anticipation right now instead of sick to my stomach that I drove a man back to his ex-girlfriend.
I spent the weekend mostly indoors, too intimidated by the heat to go outside. My electric bill is going to be the death of me, if the sweltering house doesn't get me first. I'm forcing my child and my nanny and the dogs to live in the dark, shades drawn, ceiling fans on, with the a/c on as little as possible without feeling like I'm abusing them. The two times I did venture out were to do a little discount shopping. And I also begged invitations from my neighbors to let us come over to swim. This summer is going to kick my butt. I can already tell.
XO
Kellie
Comment
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Comment by Carolyn Gibbs on July 9, 2009 at 8:26am - Kellie....you are an amazing, strong, beautiful, smart woman with a great life....just look at the whole Russell thing as a speedbump on your highway to happiness....annoying but needed for safety and growth...he doesn't even warrant a rest area for a bathroom break....just a speedbump. You just continue being the great person you are and when the time is right for you and EK, your true life partner will appear. God bless and enjoy the ride on the happiness highway!!!
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Comment by Beau Hall on July 1, 2009 at 11:11am - I'm not gay, and I bet I could make you laugh like that. :-) haha
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Comment by Tracy G on June 30, 2009 at 7:50am - Didn't he just get divorced? I'm not sure this guy knows what he wants. Long distance would have been really difficult anyway. Don't let a guy be the source of your happiness, you seem to have a great life with a happy family and great friends.
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Comment by Deanna Gonzalez on June 29, 2009 at 11:29pm -
Kelly, the right one will come along....I just commented Big Al that maybe you 2 should be a support team for each other. Be patient and enjoy your life with Emma Kelly. They grow up so fast. My daughter and I used to tell each other how much we loved each other and I would always tell her up to the sky and she would come back and say I love you past the sky! Treasure those moments with her.
Have you been watching the Bachelorette? Jake, the pilot, sure is a cutie and he is from Dallas. What do you think?
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Comment by Ruthi on June 29, 2009 at 5:22pm - OMG! girl you sure you weren't thing the men do before they get married. Afterall come one he met you at Las Vegas? He probably in the back of his mind was going to propose to her! Sad sad man he is.
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Comment by Randi on June 29, 2009 at 4:01pm - ouch! ooh, i hate when that happens. the same exact thing happened to me once with a guy i met online, went out with and we got on like a house on fire. he was reading my mind! i mean, weird stuff - not the usual stuff - stuff like we were watching the movie The Incredible Hulk at his house with his teen daughter and her friend. This guy came on the screen and the name "Guiseppe" popped into my head, but i didn't say it aloud because i had no idea what the heck it had to do with anything. so then out of his mouth pops "Guiseppe" and I'm like, oh my god, who the hell is Guiseppe cuz i was just thinking the same exact thing?! I had already thought, was it Pinocchio's dad? and he said, "wasn't it Pinocchio's dad?" which his daughter corrected "Gippetto". I googled it - nothing but italian restaurants came up. And that sort of thing happened all the time. In addition to the thought-sharing, it was also like we were raised in the same household - same colloquialisms (even though I grew up in several places, mostly in Texas and he was from Missouri & Arkansas); same ideas and values, etc... I thought I'd finally met my match. After 1 week he got scared and backed off, asking for time to think. I let him go and 2 weeks later he texted he was getting back together with his ex-girlfriend. Now they're getting married. Ouch! Meanwhile all I've met are a bunch of losers and weirdos with so much baggage they put me, the Baggage Queen, to shame! But anyway, Kelly, I haven't cruised all these sights thoroughly enough yet and I'm not on Twitter so I haven't figured out how to tell you that I think you are the bomb! I'm sorry about the jerks who criticize you. If you'll excuse the expression, I think you've got balls of steel and you are extremely talented! And I've noticed since your painful clothes - shopping experience with that lady, your clothes seem to be much more flattering on you! Or maybe thats because I wasn't watching on UStream for long before you did that. Anyway, you're all that. And I feel your pain with the single life. I don't know if we'd be friends if I knew you, but I'd like to think that we would. xox
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Comment by Napablue on June 29, 2009 at 12:19pm -
Random responses: You are pale. That's good, you won't be all leathery as you age.
Did you ever see Armistead Maupin's "Tales of the City" where Mona asked if she was a (excuse the phrase, direct quote) "fag hag?" Stereotypes are often undone, but here's mine anyway. Gay men (and I'm not) are typically witty, outgoing, articulate, well-dressed, artistic.
Russell showed his hand: he's an immature oaf who used you. We're on your side, numbers of which far outweigh the few oafs he hangs with and probably bragged about (you) to. The best thing here: he WILL read this, I have no doubt. Hi there oafs -- have a pint on me in your little pub on the corner.
(You're thinking, whew, finally) You can come and swim in my pool anytime. I have lots of SPF 60+ for EK. You should probably stay in the shade; you're pale, but cute. My pool has certified lifeguards, too. In case YOU fall in.
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Comment by Lori O'Leary on June 29, 2009 at 11:28am - I also agree with Meg. Try not to be so down on yourself Kellie.
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Comment by MaMa NeSsA~Missing her Hubby~ on June 29, 2009 at 9:49am - Kellie, seriously.....You had NOTHING to do with Russell getting back with the ex. Kidd told you there was something "off" about him and there obviously was. There is no way he is suddenly "getting back" with the ex and getting married. There was something always there for them, possibly they were still seeing each other. I know common sense tells you this is true...........Get over it! LOL
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Comment by james andrew casey on June 29, 2009 at 9:46am - kellie dont worrie about the little things you are always cute as for the russell dude hey hes a fool its his lose not yours you still have ppl that love you no matter what
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