my weekend

Friday night I tried to beg off going to that dinner and party. But when I found out my friends were going, I couldn't stay home. I think I looked pretty cute. Pale but cute. I should care more about my skin coloring before I head out the door, but I don't. I figure my paleness isn't quite so obvious in dim lighting. But cuteness is completely wasted when you're in a room of nothing but gay men. And Josh and Patti. I found myself looking around at tables filled with other gay men and their lone woman. What is it about all of us lone women who surround ourselves with gay men?

I remember when Russell was here and a gay friend of mine walked up to the table where we were having dinner, made a few rude jokes that had me roaring and left. He said to me, "I wish I could make you laugh like that." And that's the problem, I think. Straight men don't make me laugh like that. So when I'm without a man in my life, rather than sit around and sulk about my loneliness, I surround myself with hilarious gay men. I wonder if those other lone women are in the same position?

Oh, and Russell is getting back together with his ex-girlfriend and he's going to marry her. Nice little punch in the gut. Maybe she laughs harder at him than I did. There were probably a million things I should've and could've done differently, besides the laughing thing. I blew it. I always blow it. And I was supposed to be going to see him this coming weekend. I should be giddy with anticipation right now instead of sick to my stomach that I drove a man back to his ex-girlfriend.

I spent the weekend mostly indoors, too intimidated by the heat to go outside. My electric bill is going to be the death of me, if the sweltering house doesn't get me first. I'm forcing my child and my nanny and the dogs to live in the dark, shades drawn, ceiling fans on, with the a/c on as little as possible without feeling like I'm abusing them. The two times I did venture out were to do a little discount shopping. And I also begged invitations from my neighbors to let us come over to swim. This summer is going to kick my butt. I can already tell.

XO
Kellie

18 Comments

Comment by Maria on June 28, 2009 at 11:29pm: Russell was definitely not the man for you. He obviously has issues. I think it's kind of wierd to go from a potential relationship to marrying an ex in a matter of weeks. You and Emma Kelly don't need someone flaky like that in your lives. Don't settle for anyone but the best!

Comment by Devheart on June 28, 2009 at 11:49pm: I wish you would have met my old Bff, i think his charm and his wit, would have you given you a run for your money.

Comment by Meg..Looking Right on June 29, 2009 at 7:37am: You blew it??? No hon…he was not available for you to blow anything. You didn't turn him back to his ex-girlfriend; he never left her if he is engaged to be married this soon after whatever it was you had with him. Too bad he wasn't willing to be honest about that. Good grief, I liked him better as a Vegas soccer star.

Comment by mejenks on June 29, 2009 at 8:07am: I agree with Meg, Kelly. Don't internalize his faults. He wasn't available to you. You should read Steve Harvey's book, "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man". I know, I know.... but if nothing else, the book is HYSTERICAL!! And I learned as much about myself and how I am perceived as I did about the losers I have been dating. Check it out...quick and easy read!!

Comment by Christy on June 29, 2009 at 8:08am: it's not your fault men are just LIARS!!!!!!!! they can't help it. my mom always says that man are few in this life. :( cheer up!

Comment by joanne on June 29, 2009 at 8:34am: I have to agree, with everyone else. she might not have been ex. but i think most men do not like independent women. i have been single for awhile myself, but at least you have a table of gay men to turn to.

Comment by Lori M on June 29, 2009 at 8:58am: If Russell was "The One", it would have worked out. You will find someone, just when God says the timing is right. In the meantime, you can have fun with gay men and hang out with your beautiful daughter!

Comment by Retro on June 29, 2009 at 9:33am: This has happened to me. I had someone get back with their ex wife after me and they got re-married. I would like to say good riddance, but there was an obvious reason they got back together, and if I had some help in having him rethink things, then I guess it was for the greater good. On the other side, my ex husband put me off about kids for 10 years, then promptly got the woman pregnant he left me for. Who the heck knows what goes through minds? I'm so glad I am not with either one of them now. I like a man who knows what he wants and knows what it takes to get it. A lesson I learned from being with those two. =)

Comment by james andrew casey on June 29, 2009 at 9:46am: kellie dont worrie about the little things you are always cute as for the russell dude hey hes a fool its his lose not yours you still have ppl that love you no matter what

Comment by MaMa NeSsA~The Cheshire Cat~ on June 29, 2009 at 9:49am: Kellie, seriously.....You had NOTHING to do with Russell getting back with the ex. Kidd told you there was something "off" about him and there obviously was. There is no way he is suddenly "getting back" with the ex and getting married. There was something always there for them, possibly they were still seeing each other. I know common sense tells you this is true...........Get over it! LOL

my weekend

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