random thoughts!!!
Random thoughts of big al:
Kellie calls me lonely and I never wanted to admit this but I think she may be right.
How is it possible that a guy that knows as many people as I know can be lonely?
Kidd says that I am desperate. My interpretation of a person that is desperate is a person that will go out with anyone. Well, I haven’t had a date in weeks, and I think if I REALLY REALLY WANTED TO, I COULD… so I don’t really think that I am desperate.
This weekend s the weekend that im going to buy a Christmas tree for my house as well as a Christmas tree for my parents house.
*****The “lonely guy Christmas tree” is a very sad thing. Haha… really, it is!
The single guy goes to the Christmas tree lot all alone and visualizes the Christmas tree sitting in his living room with one or two gifts under it. (dang that’s sad)
Im picturing myself decorating my Christmas tree… listening to Christmas music, drinking egg nog and whatever else is around the house.
Im going to get into the holiday spirit if it kills me.
Blacks chicks just don’t like me… im at a bar yesterday and im talking to a white chick and a Mexican chicka. Total strangers but we had all introduced ourselves. After we Had talked about 15 minutes or so. It was a very friendly and pleasant conversation underway. Unbeknownst to me another friend was on the way in. now, if you know me, the only thing I like better than talking to two girls is talking to three girls. Its my element. Small groups are my specialty. The third girl walks in and sits down at the bar and begins to chat with the other girls. I chime in from time to time but im a little hesitant because the third girl, a sista, was staring a hole through me with what appeared to be fire in her eyes. It was like she was my ex-wife. Kidding. But I felt like she not only wanted me to run in the street in front of a bus, but she wanted to be driving the bus. I wish I could figure out why this is. Her friends did me no favor by not introducing me. This is not the first time that this has happened but it doesn’t make me like it. I did nothing to this lady and she just didn’t like me from jump street!
Why:
1) Maybe she just didn’t like me! (duh)
2) Because i haven’t dated a sistah in a while, they are all mad at me!
3) Who knows???
Kellie calls me lonely and I never wanted to admit this but I think she may be right.
How is it possible that a guy that knows as many people as I know can be lonely?
Kidd says that I am desperate. My interpretation of a person that is desperate is a person that will go out with anyone. Well, I haven’t had a date in weeks, and I think if I REALLY REALLY WANTED TO, I COULD… so I don’t really think that I am desperate.
This weekend s the weekend that im going to buy a Christmas tree for my house as well as a Christmas tree for my parents house.
*****The “lonely guy Christmas tree” is a very sad thing. Haha… really, it is!
The single guy goes to the Christmas tree lot all alone and visualizes the Christmas tree sitting in his living room with one or two gifts under it. (dang that’s sad)
Im picturing myself decorating my Christmas tree… listening to Christmas music, drinking egg nog and whatever else is around the house.
Im going to get into the holiday spirit if it kills me.
Blacks chicks just don’t like me… im at a bar yesterday and im talking to a white chick and a Mexican chicka. Total strangers but we had all introduced ourselves. After we Had talked about 15 minutes or so. It was a very friendly and pleasant conversation underway. Unbeknownst to me another friend was on the way in. now, if you know me, the only thing I like better than talking to two girls is talking to three girls. Its my element. Small groups are my specialty. The third girl walks in and sits down at the bar and begins to chat with the other girls. I chime in from time to time but im a little hesitant because the third girl, a sista, was staring a hole through me with what appeared to be fire in her eyes. It was like she was my ex-wife. Kidding. But I felt like she not only wanted me to run in the street in front of a bus, but she wanted to be driving the bus. I wish I could figure out why this is. Her friends did me no favor by not introducing me. This is not the first time that this has happened but it doesn’t make me like it. I did nothing to this lady and she just didn’t like me from jump street!
Why:
1) Maybe she just didn’t like me! (duh)
2) Because i haven’t dated a sistah in a while, they are all mad at me!
3) Who knows???
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4 Comments
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Comment by mejenks on December 8, 2008 at 4:50pm - Tamicha is right... black women give the evil eye when a black man flirts with any woman who is not a black woman. I'm a white woman and I flirt with men, women, black, white, purple whatever~ I'm just a flirt. (in a "dog running after the bus" kinda way) I get evil looks from black women and I just have to laugh.
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Comment by Tamicha on December 6, 2008 at 11:07am -
Big Al,
I don't know if I should laugh or give you a hug. I can relate to your feelings of loneliness and I have given the evil eye to some black men. Let me try to elaborate on why. Now while I cannot speak for all black women I can definetly speak on my behalf. I am a woman who, excuse my honesty;has her stuff together. The one thing I don't have is a man! Now yes there are companions and co workers and so called friends but no one who I can really share myself with. So how can a perfectly good woman go passed by? The answer is beyond me. I will tell you that... I LOVE black men. And to see one who catches my eye out is like seeing the heavens open and hear harps playing in the background. But my divine moment is ruined when I realize that he is with "someone". The only thing that keeps repeating in my head is WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM BEING WITH A SISTA!! Heck, more importantly...What is wrong with me? Then I realize I am fine but the dude has problems with black women. And so since evertybody knows that if you have a problem with a black woman she will definetly let you know she has a problem with you. Hence, you are going to get the evil eye.
Now really was I fair to give you the eye? Honestly, no but that's the way some of us deal with it. It is a blow to our egos to see a good black man pass us by. So we put on our armor and go marching to war. This is something that has to change because I am sure we are not winning many of these mens' favor by looking like the grim reaper about to go for the kill. So big Al, from this moment on I promise you I will put my evil eye in retirement and try to be a woman who is happy for anyone who has companionship no matter who that "someone" is.
As for being lonely, well you pretty much hit some of my thoughts on the head. My folks always tell me when you are not looking that's when you will find it(love). Now, how can I stop looking for something I want so dearly? Haven't quite figured that one out yet either. So in the meantime I will just keep on making acquaintances until I stubble upon "the one".
So how about it Big Al, would you like to keep in touch?
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Comment by Melissa Carter on December 5, 2008 at 12:32pm - You wont be disappointed...check me out on myspace already!!! I'm kinda lonely too and trip your way may help!
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Comment by Lauren on December 5, 2008 at 11:24am -
You are just so sweet...and so honest! Those are very endearing qualities in a person.
I don't know how old you are Al, but honestly, it takes a while for some of us to figure out who we really are and why we are here on this earth. By the time we get pretty good at it...it's time to die (just kidding!) but I've often wondered why it took me so long to get a grip on these important things.
My kids, on the other hand, have already figured out the most important issues in life, and THEY just inspire me.
Do you want to marry a black woman?
The black women I know are simply incredible. They are strong woman with deeply held beliefs and strong family values. They are women who want to make a difference in this world.
Here's the catch... the men they want to marry must be willing to serve as spiritual leaders of the home.
If you really want a woman of quality, I suggest you go to Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship. Dr. Tony Evans, the pastor is wonderful. These people will love you and become your new family. You can see Dr. Evans on www.Iamsecond.com.
The website--- I am second.com is GREAT by the way. I love it!
When you are looking for a fabulous woman, you need to think about how you are doing it. Think of the perfect woman for you. Make a picture of her in your mind and create a profile like the police create a profile of a criminal. What color is her skin? What are her interests? What does she love? What kinds of places would she go? Once you have all this in your mind...go often to places where you think she would go. You are cute and charming and you have a lot to offer someone. Pray ahead of time for God to help you find her, and trust God.
Oh, I almost forgot...your idea to go to Africa is awesome! I know a woman who adopted two teenage boys from Africa, against the advice of all her friends.
God put it in her heart that she needed to be the new mom for these orphans, and HE has blessed her with the boys beyond her wildest dreams. Her friends, the ones who were so against the adoptions also ALL adopted kids from Africa.
She and her husband are white, and when they go out in public and nosey people ask about her being the mother of very dark-skinned children, her 7-year-old daughter likes to say, " Mommy drank chocolate milk when my brothers were in her tummy," --kids...
How amazing your son is for giving his shoes to a child...you've got to be proud of that!!!
Keep your chin up- You are figuring out some life-changing stuff!
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