I think I’m back on pace with the whole losing faith in humanity thing. I feel like just when I think people can’t disappoint me anymore, something happens to top that. How in any sane world is it ok to take someone out on multiple dates and seem like you’re both on the same page about things and then just go home with someone else at a bar in front of them? Yes this happened and I have never really felt so blindsided in my life. Well I have one other time, but that’s besides the point. At what juncture does someone need to start realizing it’s on them? Is my judge of character that bad? I always thought I could tell when someone had the best intentions. Maybe it’s just all my fault for letting people in to begin with. I wish there was an easier way to tell right off the bat that someone is just not a nice person.
My spirit is really starting to disappear, if I even have one left. As much as I want answers, I won’t ask for them. I guess because that’s not really going to change anything. Knowing less, is really sometimes better. I won’t be the crazy texter flipping out asking why. I really never have been and I don’t want to start. I just want to stop feeling pain. Moving on, no more drama queen stuff.
This is that kinda time when you start cleaning out your life a little bit. Or at least I think that helps get you grounded again a little. So, I cleaned out my closet and just gave half of it away to one of my friends. Clean the closet, clean the mind…something like that works right? I’m really just hoping it will simplify things in general for me a little bit. It made her happy and me feel lighter, so finally a double positive for once.
The cleaning continues when it comes to my dog. Since we are going to Europe, and I am tired of my dog right now, My momma is coming to visit me and take him off my hands for awhile. Boarding just gets way too expensive and I have had a lot going on, so momma Candy is coming! I miss her anyways since Holly has been gone and I spend nearly everyday alone. That should make Candy happy and me happy as well. I’m going to live under the motto that I will do things that make other people I love happy. My mom wants my dog, my friends want my clothes, take it. I need to strip the life down a little bit anyways.
The only silver lining to my weekend came at 4 pm yesterday.I decided to take some anti-anxiety medication and by some I mean 4, and treat my homeless feet to a pedicure. I fell asleep during it but what I managed to stay awake for, was everything I needed to feel better. Then the goodness came. Just 2 hours to go until Breaking Bad season 5 premier. It wasn’t the greatest epiosde ever, but definitely building up for a strong final season. Nothing to make me feel better like watching lots of death, drugs and violence on a Sunday night. No, really that’s not sarcastic as usual. It actually makes me feel better. Just now putting together that my favorite shows are Breaking Bad, Dexter, Homeland and Weeds( before it jumped the shark). Clearly, I have a dark soul or something. Just REALLY must stop being pessimistic.