Two years ago, on this date, our world was flipped upside down. At times it feels like it has been longer, but at the same time it feels like it was just yesterday. I don’t know how to explain it. That’s just how it feels. I also know that it still hurts. However, this is the day where I can appreciate life, because I saw how quickly and easily it can end first hand. One moment you’re here, the next you’re not. There is an element of pain that comes along with an unexpected passing. When my grandmother passed away, I had already come to terms with it, because she was sick. I was able to prepare myself. When my uncle, who was my father figure/big brother/idol passed away, I was blindsided. I wasn’t ready. It didn’t feel real, though… mostly because he was in Mexico. When Kidd passed away, I had that same feeling x2, because we were with him. That made the blindside impact feel greater. It was real right away. How can someone, who was joking around with me, smiling, and talking about what we were going to do the following weekend, all of a sudden just go?
As the time passes and the dust settles, you start to realize that it is ok to keep moving on with life. This doesn’t mean you forget your loved one. I still have conversations with Kidd… mostly one sided because I am the one talking. But it does help me. I am still in awe to what a legacy Kidd left behind. There’s not a day that goes by where someone doesn’t mention Kidd to me. This is not because they want to bring me down… it’s because they truly had a connection with the man. A lot of the times they also apologize for bringing him up to me. Don’t apologize. It’s ok! We will always have a connection that was started because of Kidd. That’s awesome! I get to see his picture every time I step foot into the office, and I love it.
I just hope we are making you proud, Kidd. Because of you, I am able to live my dream. Because of you, I am able to provide for my family. Because of you, I show my kids love and affection every single second I am with them. Because of you, I never stray too far from the sidewalk… sorry, that’s a Kelly Clarkson lyric. I went into full on song mode. I truly owe everything I have achieved to you… because you took a chance on me.
The fact that the last thing you said to me on-air was “I’m proud of you”. I can always watch that video to lift me back up.
When we came back on air the very Monday after Kidd’s passing, I read a passage that was sent to me from my friend, Michael. It actually helped me quite a bit. Here it is:
“You can shed tears that he’s gone,
or you can smile because he lived,
you can close your eyes and pray that he will come back, or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left.
Your heart can be empty because you can’t see him, or you can be full of the love that you shared, you can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday, or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember him and only that he is gone, or you can cherish his memory and let it live on, you can cry and close your mind and be empty and turn your back, or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”
Kidd would ask me how I could possibly always be happy. I would tell him that I choose to be happy… that seemed like it would be impossible after Kidd passed away, but that passage reminded me that we get to choose! Have a great week, and remember to pour a lil out for my buddy today… and also eat some corn in his honor… and make sure you don’t put too much weight on the chip… and don’t listen to Nickleback unless you are wearing a flannel and chopping some wood… and if you choke on your burrito while driving, use the side mirror on your car to get it out. Love ya, Kidd!