I feel defeated as a parent… and I guarantee Kinsey does too. Kinsey has talked about this to people on a forum she is a part of, but we don’t really talk about it outside of that, because we don’t know what is happening. When we found out Kinsey was pregnant with Cason, we bought books, read books, watched videos, got all the advice we could stuff into our brains, and all the typical first time parent things. We wanted to the best for our son. We had the “techniques” down… as far as we thought.
We also were first time parents, so we did not know what was normal, and what is not normal. So when Cason would not sleep through the night, we just figured, all babies were that way. We believed that until we started talking to our friends who had kids at the same time. Their kids slept through the night at about 4 or 5 months. I am talking 7pm to 7-8:30 am. Cason, on the other hand, wakes up at 3, 4, or 5 am… every. single. day. We have tried everything. Doctors, remedies, more doctors, more remedies, mommy blog sites, forums… in the last 2 years we have tried anything, and nothing has worked.
It’s getting to the point now, where we feel like there is nothing we can do. We have been told by doctors that it is a “phase”, and that this will pass. To me, phases don’t last two or more years. I was expecting a couple of months. Another reason we don’t really mention it, is because of the judgement. Many try to help, and then there are the ones who like to judge: “it must be the parents fault”, “you probably haven’t tried this _____”, and any other remark you can think of.
I finally realized this is completely off script, because once Chloe was born, she started that sleeping pattern we wanted Cason to have, almost right away. That made me feel better. Maybe it isn’t us after all. Maybe it is. I just know that this is incredibly frustrating. He doesn’t sleep, means Kinsey and I don’t sleep, which means three people are tired at home at all times, and the lil man doesn’t know how to control himself when he is tired, which leads to temper tantrums. I just wished he know how awesome sleeping really is. It’s almost like once his brain turns on, he is up. We wake up during the night, we look at the time, and realized we can sleep longer… so we do. He wakes up for some reason… and he is up.
I am not really looking for advice, because odds are, if you share some, we have probably done it in the past two years… I just wanted to vent. At least I know there are others going through this, trying to figure it out as well. I just keep telling myself that this will not always be this way. Fingers crossed. Until then, I will just keep showering that lil guy with love and positive thoughts 🙂