How is it that I get a permanent marking of a saying that I don’t live by at all. My very painful tattoo I decided to get last year is in french and says, “vivre et lacher prise” which literally means “to live and let go”. Why can’t I let go of things? It’s starting to frustrate the hell out of me. I don’t hold grudges which is weird considering how stubborn I am, but I can’t move on from painful things. It’s like I am punishing myself or something. I really need to stop doing that. I also really need to stop giving attention to anything that is negative. I’m not solely talking about guys. I’ve had bad friends-which is such an oxymoron in hindsight. I get my feelings hurts when strangers say shitty things about photos of me on facebook or if someone criticizes my work. Why? Why should I care. I suppose I start feeling selfish when I do whatever I want regardless of what anyone thinks. I said in my vacation blog that a goal of mine is to trim the fat out of my life in every sense of the expression. Trim the bad friends, trim the guys that play mind games that ruin my self worth, trim the excess baggage in my life, and literally trim the bod;) I worry that I am going to permanently like people that treat me poorly. Doing a year in review with one of my guy friends, we got into the number of dates we went on v. the number of people we made out with and it’s really sad that I went on maybe 4 dates in all of 2012. I’ll keep that other number to myself;) sadly, it’s not very many. No more douches.

On a brighter note, it seems everyone in the city decided to make getting in shape their New Year’s resolution. 4pm-don’t most normal people work until at least 5 or 6? Anyways, 4 pm, the gym was so crowded I couldn’t find a parking spot, there was one treadmill available and lots of people were outta shape;) Usually I would say, ugh beatdown, but honestly good for them. I know in 6 weeks it will be back to normal. I am trying to stay positive and happy for them. However, it is ridiculous that some of my guy friends have announced they are getting in shape for spring break. Seriously? To that I say, are you 18 and going to Panama City? Getting cut up for SB? I swear sometimes I have to take a step back and remind myself that I am not in college anymore. What is with guys my age? I hate guys my age. I am definitely at my trade in point, which is sad and funny. 33 is the new number. No one under 33 for me. I don’t know why 33, but it sounds good.