I finally saved up enough to go and get my Invisalign molds done yesterday. It’s kind of this weird combination of dread and excitement. I love self-improvement, whether it be mental or physical. That being said, I am not particularly pumped about having adult braces and spending thousands to do it. I never had any kind of braces, retainers or pulled teeth growing up, so I just don’t know what to expect. I do know that no one reading this will ever actually see me wearing it so maybe it’ll be like it never happened. What if it changes the way I look? It’s kind of like a surprise 5 month makeover. Then again, maybe it won’t work since I won’t be wearing it like I’m suppose to. I promise to give a 5 month later pic. My first tray is supposed to be here on my 29th bday. What a gift to myself right?

As much as the guys on the show make fun of me for being dude-like, I sometimes have little moments that prove how girly I am. Yesterday is a perfect example. I came so close to buying very pricey Rihanna tickets and for some reason I just couldn’t pull the trigger on it. I had this feeling that the show just wouldn’t be good and I’d regret it. Then 2 p.m. yesterday just after I decided I didn’t want to go and I wasn’t feeling it, she cancelled. Talk about that female intuition huh?

Another reason I’m glad the show didn’t work out is because it gave me a chance to see my mom one last time before she heads back to Austin. She has been here for the past 2 weeks helping out my grandma who is not in good condition right now. Grandma has been declining steadily in the last year and since my grandpa died last month, things have gotten as bad as possible. Her dementia is so out of hand she is being mean, wandering off in the middle of the night and continuously asking where her husband is, saying he left her. It’s so sad to the point that I can’t even go be around it. My mom has been here trying to get things in order and even more than that, just saying goodbye to her own mother. We had a conversation at dinner last night where Iearned that nearly every single relative on my mom’s side of the family has suffered from horrible Alzheimer’s. I really am not looking forward to this very likely possibility in my future. I don’t think my excessive water intake and crossword puzzles are going to fight this one off. What am I going to do when my mom starts to turn? I can’t even remember things that happened earlier in the day now. Then again, part of me would rather forget things when I’m old than be sad and remember everything. It’s going to be like the Notebook. But I will be alone.