After a long week of work, I did what any normal person would do to let loose on Friday night and went to bed at 11 pm. Yes, I am back to being lame. Well, halfway. I went to an awesome cocktail party and Holly and I decided to be responsible and head home instead of attending Halloween party #1. We wanted to wait until Saturday for that. So Holly and I did the typical in-home spray tan session and I forced her to watch a scary movie with me. Spray tanning your best friend nude never ceases to be amusing. Now, to back Holly up a little bit, we HAD been drinking red wine for a couple hours at the party earlier, but this story is funny regardless.
When girls spray tan, it’s usually done in just underwear. So, I tan my front half and hand Holly the glove and tanner for my backside. When she is tanning my butt cheeks-which in hindsight is highly uneccesary-I looked back and noticed that she is only in her underwear too! “Wait, why are YOU naked?!”, I asked her. She looked at me sadly and said, “Oh, man I don’t know!!” Needless to say, we laughed til we cried for about 30 minutes and I woke up with brown streaks all over my back. Well done, rooms.
With our schedules, going to bed at 11 on a Friday night basically means I will not be able to sleep past 7. So, I reluctantly got up and was finished doing all of my errands by about 11 am. What do I do now? Maybe I should eat lunch? Maybe some shopping? Maybe take a nap? No, I had the not so brilliant idea of getting a wax. I have only had 2 of these brazilian waxes in my life and that was a year ago. Just long enough for me to forget why I stopped doing it. It came to me about 1 violent rip into this session. It is so shockingly painful that is why I never do it. I really don’t think I can ever do that again. The gyno is enough when it comes to invasiveness in that area. I really don’t need to be holding my ankles in the air for someone to be causing me so much pain. Being a girl just really sucks sometimes. As I’m leaving, she says, “you know the rules right?” Of course I don’t. No intimate stuff for a day. Not a problem there I’m sure. Also, there’s no sweating for 48 hours? Perfect. I’m so glad I am wearing a saran wrap skirt all night.
Ohh Halloween parties. I feel like I have outgrown this holiday a little bit, in terms of the whole dressing up thing. That being said, I haven’t dressed up in 3 years and considering I am 2 years away from 30, I figured I only have a few good slutty costume years left. I don’t think I’m going to start going uphill in the coming years. I also somehow was able to coerce my roommate and a guy friend into being the Dexter theme and I think we pulled it off pretty well! Holly and I were Dexter’s victims and he played Dexter. Of course, I wasn’t prepared for how long this cheap costume was going to take to make or how I was going to pee during the night. 4 rolls of saran wrap later and some fake blood later, I was like a sausage in casing, but it was 9pm and no time for rethinking this. So, Holly and I were on our way. Oh wait, we couldn’t even sit down in the cab. Shoulda rethought this one. Luckily, I was sweating so much that I didn’t even have to pee the entire night, but that also meant that I could hardly get drunk…not awesome. Girls know how much more comfortable the revealing costume gets, the more drunk you get. Nope, just a tight body wrap that kept moving down on the top and up on the bottom. My only back up plan was to wear my coat if things fell apart…luckily that didn’t happen. I ended up leaving trails of spray tan and saran wrap everywhere I went though. That’s what I call leaving my mark on the city. Overall, the night was really kind of a let down. Nothing exciting happened except for some serious dancing until 2 am. Since when did Halloween turn into New Year’s Eve? The only good part about being self conscious about a skanky costume, is that once you get to the bar, there’s always someone in something skankier. Having nothing to do with that topic, I was so excited to see Jsi and Kinsey make it to the bar. I know they never get out these days and they went all out for their costumes. Jsi was scaring the hell out of people with his bodysuit-see photo. Since I wasn’t allowed to sweat due to the wax…I had the great idea of going to a club and dancing for the last hour of the night. Now that was actually a lot of fun. Getting undressed by cutting myself out at the end of the night, not so fun. Kinda looking forward to the years of just handing out candy to kids. Someday perhaps…