Isn’t telling someone you’d do ANYTHING if they (blank) a pretty good offer? I have been making my roommate Holly some pretty substantial offers lately, all in exchange for her going to see a horror movie with me. It can’t get much better than that right? I am seriously to the point that I would do anything she wanted me to do. Maybe it’s something embarrassing; maybe it’s something that will ultimately be a huge pain in the ass. Regardless, I mean it and she continues to turn me down. I have hit a low point of begging her to see a new scary movie in the theater with me. She’s holding strong and she doesn’t even have good willpower. I can’t decide if I’m losing my persuasive abilities or if she is truly that terrified of scary things. UGHHHH. Anything she wants? Really? Not enough? What am I good for then?
I just discovered something kinda disturbing about myself, which should come as no surprise considering I tend to lean towards the dark side of humor and other scary things. A trainer at the gym recommended that I go see someone called an active release therapist because I am so physically tight and get so sore from working out. The fact that I never stretch can’t help my cause. So, I go see this “massage therapist” who turns out to be some kind of sports torturer. This was the most painful 50 minutes of my life. When he climb up on the table-not commonplace for any massage I’ve ever had-I knew I was in for a world of pain. The point is, I was near tears and I have never enjoyed anything more. I realized at that moment that I am a masochist. Not the full-fledged person that enjoys pain in intimate moments, I don’t think. But I definitely thoroughly enjoy the pain of sports massages, exercise, tattoos. How did I not realize this applied to me. It sounds so demented and it unfortunately totally applies to me. Something tells me this issue could lead to danger. I can’t believe I didn’t recognize this before. 28 and still figuring myself out. Typical.
I don’t know what it is, but I am not dreading the holidays like I have most years since I’ve been about 15. I don’t know why I’ve had this growing distaste for Christmas, but I have. Maybe it’s the only child/divorced parents thing. Maybe it’s because I hate the thought of how any other people are feeling incredibly lonely and have to spend it completely alone. This year, I’m feeling better. A little more cold hearted I suppose. I tend to drive thru this super upscale neighborhood near where I live, just for fun around this time of year. The huge houses are all lit up in the classiest of ways and it has such a warm feeling. I think I might actually enjoy that one of these days. Maybe not anytime soon, but I’m considering it for the first time. I can envision the holidays getting happier when I have a home and someone to spend it with. Maybe just a winter boyfriend. November to February. Just the cold months for now. Scratch that for this year since I’m taking a dating/intimacy break until 2013. It’s been decided. Yes, I am fully aware that is only 2 weeks. I’ve actually been going strong for at least 4 weeks. However, I want someone to go on one of those horse drawn carriage rides with me. I want a blanket, wine and a person to ride with. I see these damn carriages every single day cruising around where I live. I want to ride one!!!! It’s happening. I don’t know when, with who or how…but it’s going to happen. Maybe. Probably not. 4 days til Mexico. OK.