I have to start off and just let you know that some of my upcoming blogs might not be that wild and entertaining due to the fact that I haven’t done much. I feel like I’m the star zombie in The Walking Dead, minus that whole eating people thing. People are scared of me, I make them sad. I find myself driving around aimlessly, sitting at gas stations 45 minutes after my gas tank is full. I can’t recall what I’ve done most days before 3 pm….did I brush my teeth yet? Does it matter? Grief is a weird thing. I think I am as OK as can be expected…maybe still not quite accepting of what this new reality is going to be like. I have to share my first funny observance about this grieving process. It changes the people around you. What is it about a loss of this stature, that makes people want to give you things? I’m not talking about flowers, cards, food, etc. I’m talking about things people already own and they just want to give it to you. First it was two of my closet friends. They are twins. After being phenomenally helpful to me from the second I got back to Dallas, they offer me an iPhone speaker they didn’t want anymore. Then it was a Starbuck giftcard. It’s really quite funny because people are so thoughtful they don’t even know what to do and they just want to give. Maybe it’s some internal urge to give in the wake of someone else’s loss. It’s fascinating and I love it.
Thus far this is what I’ve been given that was previously owned. We’ll call it…ReGriefted…instead of regifted…but I’m sure you got that 🙂
Jenna’s ReGriefted list:
-1 Jawbone speaker
-1 Starbucks giftcard
-3 various restaurant giftcards
-2 free Bic lighters from the clerk at the gas station
-a Visa giftcard
-black dress…(i bought a new one though 🙂 )
Speaking of black dresses, I found it’s quite the conundrum to look for a funeral dress. I am a shopper; I usually evade salespeople in the stores at all cost.But the dress section is a predicament. After various girls approached me asking if they could help and me shrugging them off, I finally realized, yes I for once need fashion help. Not because I can’t dress myself, but because I didn’t want to. This dress has one purpose. I don’t want it to be special, I don’t care if it’s cute, I just want a plain black dress that doesn’t show sideboob. I told a girl to just pull my anything plain she could find. She immediately gets excited and starts asking questions about the occasion. “Ohhh is it a cocktail party?” “You want something with a flirty neckline?” Nope, it’s more utilitarian. Just simple. Oh this one hugs your curves! Okay so now I’m curvy? Ehhh. Not a convincing way to sell a funeral dress. I’m chubby and look like death and buying this to pay a visit to death. Can’t I at least be emaciated? No, I promise that wasn’t me eating Taco Bueno bean burritos with Taco Bell mild and hot packets. You know you’ve done it so stop. (If you haven’t, you’re really missing out :))
Update: just got ReGriefted a hat while writing this. SCORE.
I actually managed to get out Friday night and go see This is the End, which I’ve wanted to see for months. I get my ticket, for one, and head into the theater realizing that it’s a Friday night, at an indie artsy theater and everyone is on dates. I honestly couldn’t have cared less. I sat in the front row, because that was all that was available and I laughed uncontrollably for the first time in a week. It was so great, or at least relative to my other latest days.