I have a lot of things in my life actually. It’s not anything illegal, like the time I got arrested when I was 15 at an Allman Brother’s concert. It’s also not the time I took an altoid from a guy in the crowd at a Phish show at ACL..it wasn’t an altoid. Now, those are the things you don’t tell a new group of people, or really anyone, ever. I found something else you might want to keep hidden. Weird things you order in the mail. This might only apply to women who workout, but alot of us have this fear that we put off the appearance of bordering the line of heterosexuality. I often talk to my other girlfriends that are big exercisers about this topic. Some general areas of concern include:

Is my level of sweating normal because those girls have their hair down and full-makeup and I look like a wet rat. Not sure if that’s a question or not.

My hands have lots of callouses and my nail lady is concerned, but lifting gloves? NO WAY I’m wearing those.

I can do more pushups than some guy in that class, is that a problem?

I try and keep it as feminine as possible. Though I realized I can’t be a girl and a guy. My long Rihanna nails are breaking at the rate of 1 per day and the botox has almost completely worn off in my pits. It’s like I’m leaving behind parts of my femininity. Here’s a piece of a denim tie dye gel nail and all of my dignity. I’ve always been the type to just live the way I want and truly not give much thought to the way others view me. I wear what I want, dressing usually just for myself. I do the weird workout moves I want and I don’t really care if the non-sweaties are judging. However, yesterday things changed a little. I came home to find this box outside my apartment door. There is just nothing ok with that situation. It’s just a bunch of protein powder and supplements and vitamins. But too all of my neighbors, it looks like I’m about to throw down at a fitness competition. Or that I have the aspirations and not the body. Then the spray tan girl comes over today and it REALLY looks like I’m trying to be some amateur female body builder. I have a hard enough time as it is. Can’t we disguise the box? Like when you order something from an adult store and it shows up from A&B Corporation? No, it has to say BODYBUILDING.COM. Thanks for the bonus protein shaker as well. Now I can advertise that I am passionate about weights and whey. I told Holly to ignore it all, and that it must stay hidden in a cabinet. Nothing like having guests over and them seeing that spread and asking who the weightlifter is. It’s Maximus, the pug, duh.