When you work directly with just 3 other people everyday, you get to know each other so well (too well). Then again you see each other everyday, so it’s easy to let changes go unnoticed and it’s even easier to never compliment one other. I think I am pretty fair with my compliments. I say them when I mean them, there’s no other agenda than that. I think that makes them more meaningful, but I also realize that for a long time I didn’t compliment enough. I mostly didn’t compliment guys I was interested in because for whatever reason, I felt like it was a sign of weakness. Maybe that makes no sense, but I am so concerned about making the guy’s ego too big and him getting the impression that I’m in love, so in the past I refrained from almost any compliments at all.

I have been working to change that, because guys love being complimented. Who doesn’t honestly? I sure do, especially when it’s from someone who’s opinion you respect. Like if Kidd said great job on something work related, I know most of us would beam inside. Anyways, I completely digress. Kellie, Al, Jsi and I attending a women in media luncheon yesterday and I think we were all a little in the dark on what was going on. We all just kind of assumed we were accepting an award on behalf of Kidd and that’s it. We scrambled to finish work and went to the event and learn that each of us is supposed to speak a little about a Kidd memory. I can tell it’s quite difficult for all of us still and honestly Kidd related things are something I kind of want to run away from for now. I can’t even believe we made it to Thanksgiving honestly.

There was a video montage of Kidd our production staff put together for us to play and Kellie was going to introduce it and speak then bring us up. I know she didn’t prepare anything to say….the rest of didn’t as well. I think talking about Kidd is the easiest thing verbally to do, yet the hardest thing emotionally. Knowing she was unprepared-even though I wouldn’t consider any of us unprepared relatively speaking since we do this everyday-I know she just went up there to talk. She was so eloquent and said everything right. Kellie obviously impresses me at work, she’s hilarious. But I was just so proud that she could do that. Kind of like how I always had faith when Kidd had the mic, that it would be verbally impressive, touching, cover all the business points and of course be FUNNY. Kellie just talked and it was seriously pro. Then the video played and I really struggle looking at that and hearing his voice. Once it was over Kellie went back up to intro us and she could barely talk. I was so glad to know that I wasn’t the only one falling apart on the inside and visibly shaken. Al, Jsi and I all were pretty thrown by the video. I hope it looks more genuine than unprofessional, because I feel like we always learned that we shouldn’t be the ones crying….but in this case it’s just too real. I think Kellie put it into words perfectly when she said, Kidd’s passing has made us a different kind of show and we miss him, but that wall has dropped and people who may have never met us, really do know us. It’s like we all went through something together and it’s nice to have people understand. It’s also nice to have someone like Kellie put that into words so gracefully. A little bit of Kidd coming through each cast member in different ways. Jsi has grown so much with the new responsibilities of running the board. Big Al is, well he’s still Big Al. No, even he has grown in his own role, sharing stories so personal no one else would have the courage to do. He still lets us make fun of him endlessly which we need. As for me, I’m just glad to be here;)