I haven’t blogged in a while because I’ve just felt so void of words worth sharing. I’ve been struggling to find balance in my life. I got knocked on my butt when Kidd died and it’s like my equilibrium is still off. I feel like I can’t focus on any ONE thing, and my attention is constantly being diverted from work to working out to parenting to laundry to bill paying to keeping commitments. And I’m slacking off on maintaining my relationships with my girlfriends, which should be bumped up to a priority position. If I don’t nurture those relationships, who’s going to be there for me when I need someone to tell me that I’m wonderful and all the boys who don’t see that suck?

swap-partyI tried to work on rebuilding some of those friendship bonds this weekend by throwing another swap party. It’s funny how many people look at me cock-eyed when I say that. Would anybody seriously think I would be into something kinky? But twice a year — right around the change of seasons when everybody’s packing away the old and pulling out the seasonally appropriate — I throw a swap party. You can bring clothes your kids have outgrown…clothes you have outgrown…books you’ve read…CDs you’re sick of listening to…household appliances…picture frames…pocketbooks…WHATEVER. You bring what you no longer want and hopefully somebody else will want it and love it just as much as you once did. And if you’re stuff is still sitting there at the end of the night, it’s boxed up and hauled off to charity.

I just look at it as an opportunity to purge my closet while getting somewhat inebriated with my girlfriends. My goal is to always leave with nothing, but this swap party, I SCORED. I got a super sexy long black dress with the price tag still attached from NEIMAN MARCUS, thank you very much. I’m saving it for a boy who doesn’t suck. AND I got a cute little Loft blouse that I’m thinking will be going with me on the Kidd’s Kids trip to Disney World this year. Plus, I got a ton of much-needed dresses and tops for Emma Kelly. If you haven’t done something like this with your friends, you really should try it.

Over the weekend, I came across this viral video that was released on Mother’s Day, but for some reason is just now making the rounds. Here’s the link to it:


It’s a bunch of moms sitting in front of a camera, confessing how inadequate they all feel as mothers. From the moms’ perspectives, they’re all short-tempered and stressed out and they don’t spend enough time with their kids….the usual. They see themselves as failures. And then the kids all sit in front of the camera and talk about how they see mom. Not one of them said that mom was failing. It was all about mom being the best. Mom is beautiful. Mom is fun. Mom is the most important person in the world. It was just a great reminder that I really need to give myself a break because despite how many times she tells me she wants to be adopted because I’m so mean, I know my kid loves me. Even if she didn’t act like it in front of that reporter for Dallas Child Magazine. Oh, did you miss the article? Yeah, once you get all warm and fuzzy watching that Mother’s Day viral video, check this out and feel my pain: