I am changing the names of those involved to protect the innocent, and by “innocent,” I mean me, of course. But I have been the victim of a bad setup.

I do not blame those who get excited about wanting to set me up. Girls love to play matchmaker and take credit for bringing together two obvious soul mates who would’ve never found each other without some divine interference. And the older I get, I’m like, whatever…Why not…What can it hurt…I need an excuse to get my roots done and a pedicure anyway…

hair-nailsSo the meeting was set. It definitely wasn’t a date. It was a meeting. But it would be a group meeting to ease the pressure. The pressure from what? For whom? The setter uppers? The guy? Me? Was I supposed to be feeling pressure? Because for some odd reason, I was feeling zero pressure. Sure, the mind wanders over to the Land of What If for a minute or two, but then the Hunchback of Broken Dreams stomps over and shoos you right back into the Kingdom of Reality.

So I show up looking fairly cute for a 40-something, if I do say so myself. You’ve got to put for a little effort, right? The mastermind of this matchup is already there with two of her friends. So I join “April,” “Betty” and “Carla” for a round of adult beverages as we await the arrival of “Dean,” who shows up about 20 minutes later with Mr. and Mrs. “Everly,” who are also playing a part in this potential love connection. So I scoot over to make room for Dean. “Nice to meet you.” “Nice to meet you.” And that was pretty much the extent of our conversation. I attempted a question or two, but it was met with an adjective and adverb-free response. And then it was announced that his other friends were arriving. So I and everybody at the table scoot down to make room for Dean’s friends, and he proceeds to get up and move to the table behind us.

April and Mr. and Mrs. Everly seemed to be somewhat embarrassed and a little disappointed and then proceeded to explain that Dean is very shy and perhaps a little socially awkward. And this is who they think would be a potential match for ME?? So we stayed to finish our final round of adult beverages and, with a wave over the shoulder, I said goodbye to all the hopes and dreams Dean and I failed to live up to for April and the Everlys.

The funny thing is, I feel like April is mad at ME!! But what could I have done differently? And the thing is, I’m not even the least bit upset about being rejected or whatever that was. Maybe in my 30s I would’ve taken it personally. I’m too old for that ish now. And maybe if I was lonely I would be all depressed. But I’ve got plenty of love in my life from friends and family to freak out over some monosyllabic set up who moved to another freaking table!! By the way, what was up with that??

At least I got my roots and my toes done.