What’s up? Yeah, I’m still here. Sorry about the lack of blogging. I’ve been highly distracted by hackers and my still-new relationship and trying to get my daughter on board with this whole idea of her mommy dating.
I know a lot of people believe single moms should put love on hold until their children are graduated, grown and out on their own. It’s our cross to bear for not keeping a marriage together and robbing our children of an intact family. It’s a sacrifice we make out of love that’s dripping in guilt because we should always put our children’s wants and needs before our own, right?
I’m sorry, but I just don’t feel that way… especially after talking to a very close friend of mine who is also a single parent. After her divorce — which was not her fault, trust me! — her little boy hated the man she dated and loved. When she finally had enough of the constant fighting with her son over it, she made the decision to let her man go. She put her son’s peace and happiness above her own, as all good mothers do, right? So she spent her son’s teenage and college years focused solely on him. Dating could wait. She had a young man to raise and she raised him well. But fast forward to now — some 20 years later. The son is grown. He found the love of his life and moved to be with her a couple states away and now he’s living the life his mother always dreamed for him. Meantime, my friend is now some 20 years older and let’s just say, the pickings get slimmer and slimmer as the decades slip by.
Does her son appreciate her sacrifice? Yes. But as he looks at his mother who is lonely and longing for a relationship, he says he wishes he had been more accepting of her dating someone when he was a child. And all my friend can tell me over and over is, “Do what you can to make this relationship work with your man AND your daughter. Don’t end up alone like me.”
I am a mother, yes. But I’m also a woman. And I want to have love and be loved by a man. Right now, all I can do is be the best mother I can be while trying to be the best girlfriend I can be, and sometimes it’s hard!! There are a lot of times that not a single one of us is happy with how things are going! But I hope one day we’ll all look back at these days and laugh about it. Actually, I PRAY one day we’ll all look back and laugh about it! Wish us luck.