I’m trying to get into the gym three times a week. Working out pretty hard when I’m there, but I haven’t gotten my head wrapped around this food thing just yet. I think I’m going to have to go on a program because winging it ain’t cutting it.

I’m really liking this gym, too. I go in the middle of the day when it’s a little more quiet. There are a lots of “Ladies Who Lunch” in there, standing around pieces of workout equipment chit-chatting their workout hour away. Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen one of them actually working out….But man!!! My DREAM is to be a Lady Who Lunches!! She’s the woman who wears tennis outfits to lunch, not because she’s just come from the tennis court but because she knows she just looks so darn cute in that tennis skirt. And she’s typically wearing a knuckle-to-knuckle sparkler, which makes it practically impossible to lift her salad fork with her left hand. Her skin is flawless thanks to those weekly facials and you won’t find an ounce of jiggle thanks to her Pilates instructor, Sven, who comes to the house on Mondays and Thursdays.  I WANT TO BE ONE OF YOU LADIES SO BAD!!! But I haven’t managed to break through just yet….

Also at the gym smack dab in the middle of the day are all the businessmen who have exactly one hour to get in there, get it done, get it showered off, and get back to the office. So I’m thinking the key to being one of the Ladies Who Lunch will be to find myself one of these highly motivated, middle-of-the-day men. That means I’m going to have to invest in cuter workout clothes and think about wearing a little lip gloss when I’m working out on  that vulgar hip abductor machine. It’s hard to be ladylike when you’re exposing your lady business like that. Note to self:  Get opaque workout pants.

Quick sidebar:  Heading into the gym yesterday with my newly purchased liter of water, two guys who apparently had just had lunch at the restaurant next door were climbing into their big SUV, windows down thanks to the beautiful day. And as I’m scooting past and they’re pulling away, the guy driving moans out the window at me, “Cooooooougar……” I kept on walking and they kept on driving, but I’m not sure if I’m supposed to be flattered or insulted. Insulted, right? Jennifer Lopez says it’s negative so I guess I’m supposed to lean towards being upset about it….Right now, I’m just confused.