“I would say I was, um, a kind of ‘fly by the seat of my pants’ gal.” — Vivian Ward

I wonder what it’s like to be spontaneous. I think I used to be. I just lost it somewhere between having a mortgage and birthing a kid.

My girlfriend just decided to go on a long vacation all by herself — first to Hawaii and then to Jamaica. Who does that?? I sorta kinda tried doing that once. I have another girlfriend who’s vacationed alone all over the world and LOVES it. I wanted to give solo vacationing a try but I was afraid to go full hog on it, so I got her to agree to go with me, but on one condition:  We stayed away from each other during the day and only got together for dinner at night. I couldn’t wait for dinner every night!!! I’d wake up in the morning and have no one to check in with. I’d wander down to the beach alone and there was nobody there to rub sunscreen on my back. I tried to read a book while alternately stare at the ocean and I couldn’t concentrate on either because I was silently screaming “I’m so lonely!” in my head. Solo vacation fail.

new-york-cityAnd I just got invited to drop everything and head to NYC for three days. By a BOY!! I thought about it for a split second but then realized I just can’t. First of all, who books a whirlwind trip to NYC for a Tuesday thru Thursday?? Those would be people without kids and dogs….And secondly, I can’t just take off from work like that, can I? Imagine the Hizziewood Hizzle without my comedic timing…The Showbiz Top 5 without my witty repartee…Love Letters to Kellie without Kellie…The show would freaking fall apart!

No, I’m not the type of person who can vacation alone without feeling like the loneliest person on the planet. And no, I can’t drop everything and run out the door to catch a flight to NYC on a Tuesday. But that doesn’t make me not fun, does it? Hosting swap parties is fun. Shopping for a new sink drain and air filters is entertaining. And calling the power company to find out why my electric bill was over $500 this month? Well, I’m so excited I could practically explode!

Maybe I should just throw a couple changes of underwear and a handful of 3oz. toiletries into my carry-on bag and fly to NYC on Tuesday…..