I think I’m finally back on the road to recovery. “The Honey 3 Experience” was one that I won’t soon forget. It was hard for me to come to terms with the truth. But the truth is that I fell fast and hard for a girl that, in the end, didn’t want me. How could this happen? I’m so lovable…haha. Well, like they say, everything happens for a reason. But I have no clue what the reason was behind this. Maybe one day I will figure that out because at the present time, I have no clue. Sure, I wanted it to be right. I wanted her to be the right one and I wanted it to be the right time. But it wasn’t. But after all of the time that we spent together talking and hanging out and going to dinner and everything else, it still wasn’t what SHE wanted. Damn, I have to say, I tried hard. It sure is funny how two people can be in the same relationship, but those same two people see two totally different things. It’s kind of like that thing where someone holds up a picture and everyone describes what they see…and they all see something different. Yup, I was stupid. But I didn’t feel stupid at the time. At the time, it felt right. I bought flowers, cards, tickets to Mexico, tickets to Six Flags, a necklace, a hotel room, a purse, manicures, pedicures, a “friendship ring,” a bench, and an engagement ring…and who knows what else! And you know what? I felt good everytime I did it. It was out of love. It wasn’t about the money. In my head it was about putting forth an effort. I have had girlfriends in the past that have accused me of not putting forth an effort. Some have said I don’t spend any time thinking about the relationship or doing what it takes to make a relationship work. Guilty! I have been that guy. I have been the selfish person in the relationship. I will admit that. So, this time, I wanted it to be different. I found who I thought was the person worthy of every bit of “relationship effort” that I could come up with. Well, there isn’t anyway that I can be accused of that this time. It didn’t seem weird at all to “drive” to the airport or to “drive” to Six Flags to have the actual plane tickets to put in a card. Hey, she said she liked roller coasters! But now, after some time has passed, I do feel like I learned a few things. And even though I fell hard and fast, I hope I fall hard and fast again. That was the greatest feeling in the world! I just hope I react to it differently. I hope someday, there will be another girl that comes along that I want to do everything that I can for and someone that makes me want to feel like putting forth that type of effort. But, next time, I’m not going to rush it. I promise. And next time, I probably will make sure I have someone to watch the bench so it doesn’t get stolen.
She’s leaving town this weekend. And I’m not one bit mad at her. I will continue to keep her in my prayers. Just like I couldn’t help the way I felt, she couldn’t help the way she felt either. Laura, I wish you Love and Happiness.