Yesterday, I almost had a rumble, fisticuffs, a throw down. This is no exaggeration. It was at 5p.m. I was leaving my bar on my way to get salmon. As I was getting into my car, this other guy parked right in front of my truck. It seemed like he got out of his truck rather abruptly. The way he parked his truck was going to make it next to impossible for me or anyone else to pass through my parking lot. Then, not only did he block my driveway, he walked across the street. I hollered at him, “excuse me, could you not park like that? You’re blocking my driveway.”
His response, “who are you? The F***ing police!”
I was pretty shocked. He continued across the street.
Me: “no but I am the owner here and you’re blocking my driveway. My customers can’t get through.”
Him: “tow me then.
Obviously, this dude has issues. He walked a few more steps, looked around a little and started walking back. It was like he either changed his mind or something. He gets back in his truck and he’s talking smack the whole time.
Where do your customers park in that small ass lot? He’s cussing and rambling. He backs out and pulls into the street and stops and yells more.
“You happy now? Get that smile off your face before I come over there and knock it off.” That’s when I pulled out my phone and took a picture of him in his company truck. Then he said: “don’t take a picture of me. I’m gonna come over there and grab that phone and beat the shi* out of you with it!” I’m like is this happening? That’s when I reached into my arsenal of fighting words and pulled out, “hey mutha fu**er, if you feel froggish, jump bitch!” Then, I thought, if he actually comes over here, I’m gonna have to fight this 45 year old exterminator, who clearly has had more altercations in the last week than I have had in my whole life. That’s when it happened. He put his truck in park and opened the drivers side door. My heart just about jumped out of my chest. My options started going through my head. Get out of the car and rumble like I did in the 5th grade? Call 911? Go get homies from inside the bar? So I decided to man up. He opened his door. I opened my door. And then God intervened. A car tried to pass him and blew the horn. He got back in his car. Mouthed off some more. “I’m gonna tell everybody your place has bugs and rats.” I gave him the classic black man line…Yo Mama!
And the dude just drove away!
That’s when I called his company and reported him.