Well, day one of taping is done! I would say it went pretty well… the only thing is that I have not really talked in depth about the situation with my mom. To make matters a little more interesting, my bio sis was there during the entire taping. I didn’t want to involve that side of my family in this, so she was not put on camera, but she was there, and she heard everything that has happened. It was a little awkward because she heard how things went before bio dad and I got things going. She heard how my relationship with my mom has been, and to tell you the truth, she was actually very supportive once we left the taping. I would say I put those feelings in a little box, and stored them somewhere in my brain so that I don’t drown myself in sorrow. That is not really a good way to live. I will be completely honest, I did she a lil tear or two. I tried so hard not to. I really didn’t want to, but these people are good… they are damn good. I would try to pause if I felt any sort of tear coming up, so that I could gather myself, but there were two instances that got me:
1. when they asked me about my sister calling me “pathetic”.
2. what it feels like to not have a relationship with my mom.
What gets me a little nervous is that this was just with the field producers… the nitty gritty stuff happens today when the actual host of the show comes out. Her name is Iyanla Vanzant, and she is apparently pretty dang good. I was also informed that my family is in town… and like I said before, I don’t know if I am ready for this. I don’t know if I am in a place where I can move past this yet. I am pretty upset that they have gone so long without even checking up on Cason. I don’t want to sound like a pessimist, but how will months of problems be fixed in one day? Guess we will find out, wont we? Oh man, that is a major market TV tease right there. haha! They should hire me to be the host of my own show on the OWN network after this. Right?!? no? ok, I tried.
I would also like to thank my new real estate agent, Kellie Rasberry. She has found a ton of houses for us to go look at, but first we need to see how much we will be approved for because I don’t want to find the house of our dreams, and then be heart broken because this Mexican dude’s credit is not good enough to get that. My street cred, on the other hand, is on point! But I heard that you can’t buy a house based on street cred.