Got to spend my weekend in Wichita, Kansas. I was actually attending an event (Woofstock) that Kellie Rasberry worked last year… she got sweaty and sunburned. That sounds like my kind of day. Spend some time in the sun and enjoy getting licked up by some dogs. Well, I got the opposite. It was super cold, rainy, and windy. Oh yeah, I will definitely count this towards my bad luck tour 2012. Even though it was cold and wet, people still took the time to come out and say hi.
After the event, Greg Jake Radio Name (who was there to babysit me) and I went to dinner with some peeps from the station. Before we got picked up, we decided to hit up the hotel bar. We were staying at a hotel by the airport. I was running a lil late to meet Greg, so I was walking pretty fast, and got stopped by a pretty blonde lady. There was an event going on at the hotel, but the doors were closed when I walked by the first time. This time the doors were open and I was able to see what was happening in there. It was a Honey Boo Boo pageant! ha! I had never seen one in person! Have you watched the Toddlers and Tiaras show? If so, you can always tell that those things are about as packed as a “How to be a Great Lover” class, put on by Big Al Mack. It was empty, and it had already started. I watched for a second, but felt creepy. There is something extremely weird about 5 year olds, with caked on makeup, and prom dresses, parading around a stage. Anyways, before I noticed what was happening, the blonde lady stopped me and says, “are you the judge?” I had no idea what she was talking about, so I said “huh?!” accompanied with a blank stare. She repeated herself… and I just stared at her, until she busted out an “ugh!” and walked away. Once I realized that I could have jumped in and been a judge in a pageant, I was devastated. On the other hand, I would have missed the free steak dinner, and Greg would have thought I got kidnapped.
Once I made it to the hotel bar, we found out there was going to be a high school reunion… my bad, two high school reunions. We got excited! Maybe we would make it back to the hotel and crash these parties after dinner! Right?! Wrong! Both reunions were going to be attended by 80 year olds. Which meant they would be done and in bed by 8 pm. This is when we found out some creepy news. A lady, who was going to attend the party, had passed away in the hotel early in the morning. Yeah. Isn’t that weird?! Something about being in a building, where someone passed away, that gives me the bumpy skin… shout out Big Al. ha! See what I did there?
Best quote I heard as we headed out of the hotel:
2 80-year-old dudes:
Man 1: Can you believe that I hit two cars this morning?
Man 2: What?
Us (under our breath): Yes, we can believe it.