I am not proud of this… but you gotta do, what you gotta do. Now, I didn’t do anything unethical. I didn’t break the law. In fact, I don’t even know why I am even confessing to this, because I am the only one who knows what happened. But you know what? I am sure this has happened to somebody, somewhere.

I will call this: Crowngate 2… the sequel. Crowngate 1 occurred when I accidentally swallowed my crown. That mess (and I mean that in the most literal way possible) was averted because my dentist was kind enough to help a brother out with a new crown.

Now, I admit it, I have had issues with my crown. This is mostly because I do not follow instructions very well. My dentist tells me to stay away from laffy taffy, but I don’t. He even has told me that if I get tempted to eat it, to stay away from the left side of my mouth… but, for some reason, I don’t. Yup, I dislodged my crown once again. Yup, it was laffy taffy once again. Where else am I supposed to get my comedy jokes?! I have realized that I can wear it during the day, and I can take it out at night, until I get it fixed. I was not feeling very well at work yesterday. I may have been a part of regurgitation nation, but I will stay away from that to spare you details. On my last trip, I just had some dry heave action, nothing crazy. Somehow, my tongue pushed the crown in a weird way… and my crown fell right into the toilet. I didn’t think, I just reacted, and reached in there and grabbed it. It was like second nature. I had it in my hand, I looked a the crown, then at the toilet, and then at the tooth, and just thought, “really?!?!”

 In my defense, there was only water in there. I rinsed it off. I washed my hands three times and added antibacterial to it, and excited the bathroom. The tooth is now hanging out in a ziplock bag, ready to be cleaned by the dentist office. In other news, I got this awesome new joke: When does it rain money? Give up?! When there is change in the weather! hahahaha! Ok. Good times. Confession done. I feel better.