Had my first number two crisis in a public area with Cason yesterday. I took him to lunch with me, mostly because I feel that we do tend to hang out at the house a lil too much lately because it is too freaking hot to walk outside. How do I know we hang out at the house too much? Because I caught myself playing dress up with him yesterday. I was putting clothes on him that I thought he was growing out of, including his baby scrubs that say “Dr. Chavez” on them. I ended up causing a mess, of course, and getting in trouble with Kinsey when she came home, because I seriously did dress him up in pretty much everything he had. I told her it was to make sure that all those clothes still fit him. Anyways, I got into this dress up thing because I was at lunch and realized that Cason’s diaper lost the battle. You know what I realized about being a dad? They usually don’t have those cool changing tables in the guys bathroom, so I end up having to change him on the floor, and end up having to say hello to a nice roach. Yay!
Speaking of bugs, some wasps have decided to build a nest next to my front door. I tried to sneak past them, open the door, and get in my house… but the big daddy wasp, started doing some weird movements as I was trying to open the door, and then boom! He started chasing me around while I was holding Cason and screaming like man. How does a man scream? He doesn’t. But at least I didn’t go super high pitch. I kept it to a low tone. But the damage was done. No, I was not stung, I move to swiftly to be caught by one of those things. But three of my neighbors definitely watched me lose my manliness.
Losing my manliness led to my injury. See, everything ties back in. I was feeling like a wuss after running away from a lil wasp, AKA Kinsey made fun of me. So to show her this here dude is 100% man, I gave her my best Magic Mike dance… and I pulled my groin… bad. Yup, I pulled my groin trying to do a sexy/funny dance for my wife. I say sexy/funny because it could have been interpreted either way depending on who you are… but I am pretty sure most would go with funny, but maybe, just maybe, there is someone out there who would have thought that was kind of sexy… until I pulled my groin.