Yesterday was horrible for me. Something happened to me, that has never happened… I have avoided this from happening so many times, but there was no way to avoid it yesterday. If I would have avoided it, I could have hurt myself, and aint nobody got time for that.

I was driving back from the store, it was a beautiful day, the squirrels were out and about, and I had just found out that our TV show, Dish Nation, had been picked up for a third season. About three blocks from my house, I notice a squirrel chillin on the sidewalk. I keep tabs on them, because squirrels tend to be lil daredevils. Then I notice that a car is on the other side of the street coming my way, and as I approach the squirrel I am looking at, who is on the opposite sidewalk, a different squirrel darts out of nowhere… I couldn’t do anything. If I swerve left, I hit the car head on. If I swerve to the right, I hit a tree and the sidewalk. I hit the squirrel. It was too late. I committed involuntary squirrel slaughter. I am not lying. I felt as if I hit a human. I did the slow, “ohhhhh noooooooo!” Hand over my mouth. Tears welling up. That was some other squirrels family. He was probably out working hard, getting some nuts for his lil squirrels, and I hit him. I have hit a possum before, and I didn’t react like that. I was more on the, that’s what he gets for being stupid and walking at night with no reflectors, but the squirrel, was different. I pulled over, to make sure he was not in pain, people were looking at me like I was a moron. I put him in a plastic bag, and was going to bury him in my backyard, but Kinsey said “ewww.” She had a point, my dog would just dig the squirrel back up, and it would be a mess. So I put him in a shoebox, and put him next to the tree in my back alley. Thats what he would have wanted… I think.

Also, if you were a 2 year old boy, where would you hide my keys? I am looking for them. Thank you!