Why would I try and do my own taxes when I know it’s gotten too complicated and I don’t know how? I knew I wasn’t going to like the amount, but I wasn’t expecting what I got. I can’t deal with that news on a Tuesday night. I feel like I just took a birth control test for no reason and it’s positive and it ruined my week. UGH. I never get anxious except when I fly and I just had to take my anti-anxiety medication and put on Forensic Files. Zone out and think, hey at least I’m not dead or incarcerated.

patio-furnitureMore thumbs down to adulthood. What the hell was I thinking buying patio furniture? I don’t entertain. I live in a condo. I rent. I never use the patio except to check the temperature. Now, 2 months later, delivery is set for tomorrow between 1-5. I am not even excited about it anymore and I have to be home to wait on it. 6 months ago I bought a gorgeous chandelier. It’s still in the box. Clearly I am domestically unmotivated or just depressed.

I gymed, tanned and dry cleaned today. Barely outta college Jersey Shore here. 5 weeks to 30. I am not that worried about the number. I just hope to not be broke by then after the tax assault.

GOALS BEFORE 30 (hopefully people can help me with some)

– Get into as good of shape as possible since I’m going to be in Mexico for it. Pics don’t go away once they hit the internets.

– Plan a joint bday party for Maximus the pug who turns 10 the week before my 30th. Thinking a high tea party and he can wear a powder wig. Nevermind, I need to save money. #taxes

– I donated half of my closet, bought my mom a cell phone, caught up on nearly all bills so that is something I’ve already done and wanted to finish.

– Go do improv at least once in front of live audience

– Set up or host a charity event for good karma:)

– Get botox maybe/teeth whitened

– Get tanner to look more exotic

AND I don’t care what anyone says. I am not getting rid of my jorts or my crop tops. I may be 30, but jean shorts are a staple and crop tops were my thing years ago and they are making a comeback. SO deal haters and likers gonna like.