Yes, I had no interaction with anyone yesterday. I’m not including work obviously. I went home so tired from all of that time off;) and I took a nap equivalent to about how much I slept the night before. Sometimes this schedule really starts killing me. I’m essentially a vampire minus all the cool vampire stuff. Sleep during the day, wake up at 4 when it’s almost dark, head to the gym and not speak to anyone, then go home. Rooms still wasn’t home at 7, so I watched Homeland (best show ever but it’s near the jumping the shark point), then I toggled between Almost Famous and Monday Night Football, until I got so bummed out about my lack of human contact and the fact that Holly still wasn’t home that I just got in bed at 830 and went to sleep. It didn’t help that I dropped my dinner on the kitchen floor. Do you ever just go, “welp, this day is a complete wash and sleeping is better than dealing so goodnight world?”
I had all of these dreams about a particular scene in Almost Famous. If you haven’t seen it, the band is on a plane about to crash and with their deaths seemingly eminent, they start revealing all of their deepest secrets and issues. This is obviously something I think about all the time considering my fear of flying. Perhaps it’s not the worst way to live, living like you might die tomorrow. That’s what turned me from a future-thinking person into someone that lives day by day. Every time I step foot on an airplane, I consider how much I don’t want to die that way. Watching that scene from the movie, really made me consider that maybe it’s because I don’t want to die alone. If I was with someone I loved maybe I wouldn’t be as scared about it. So that is why I’m turning the page and just outright telling people how I feel. Forward and directness is the new way. That way, if I die tomorrow, people know how I feel about them.
Some changes just need to happen and since 2012 has been such a downer, I am making some serious changes in 2013. No more douchebags, no more bad girlfriends, no more letting people take advantage of me and no more eating like shit. I feel like I am at that age that the decisions I make and the habits I have will become permanent. I’m really not into making the whole New Year’s resolutions, but I am going to start some things now before the end of the year so I’m actually looking forward to the new year. I will be spending what could be the end of the world in Mayan ruins which is pretty exiting. Time to recharge and get permanently (or at least reasonably) happy. I think my lack of social interaction is the main issue here. I am going to do some new things. Anything domesticated is out. Yoga? nah, probably not. Pilates? maybe. Get back into photography? that has potential..or maybe I’ll just dye my hair darker and call it a day;)