I hope if I have children, I don’t look forward to other people watching them as much as I do with Maximus. Just like babies are birth control for many, dogs are pet control. Oh, you want a puppy do ya? Watch this fat rat for a few days and then tell me how easy it is. Maximus is actually rather low maintenance since he’s 9 years old, so it’s not terribly hard to take care of him. Puppies are way cuter though and even I periodically get the urge to rescue another. Then I think about that 1500 dollar eye surgery last month, and the 200 a month I spend on food, boarding, grooming, etc…I think I’ll wait.

Someone I know wanted to take Maximus for the weekend so he could play with her 2 young daughters and I was excited bc like a single divorced parent, that allowed me some time alone and I knew he would be exhausted for days when he came back home. When is he coming back home? It looks like fatty had a nice little 4 day weekend with another family. I could tell he loved it last night when I finally got custody of him again. He loved the family, but he was flat-tailed tired and wanted to go straight to bed when we got back. Now it’s going to be just him and I for days because Holland is going on a work trip into a weekend trip. Actually, I am going to have no one to hang out with all week. Writing that really bums me out. As an only child I really enjoy my alone time, but these days it’s starting to get more like ‘lonely time’. Why do I feel so lonely?

The weirder part is that I don’t want to find anyone new to spend my time with, but I am getting quite bored with myself. What to do when you are lonely but don’t want to be with anyone. It’s kind of a bizarre quandary. I’m at the place where I’ve become very disenchanted with people again. I am not going to let myself go all negative like I used to, but I would think by nearly 30 years old, I would be a better judge of character. Well, I’m not. So, I decided that when any of the people in my life that I have let it and in turn, they act like I don’t exist, I am going to ignore it and immediately go and do something nice for starbuckscoffeesomeone I care about. Yesterday, I was fuming over something, and by fuming I mean about to start crying because a really close friend hurt my feelings somewhat irrevocably. So, instead of driving home and crying about it, I stopped at Starbucks bought a coffee for my roommate, drove to her office and took it up to surprise her. I feel like maybe, just maybe, if everytime some flaky friend shits on me and I turn around and do something nice for someone who deserves it, perhaps things will turn around. My mom always taught me to “kill em with kindness” when people were mean or didn’t treat me right. What a waste of energy. How about ignore them and spend your kind energy on those who matter? Doesn’t have quite the ring to it, but I’m sure I’ll come up with some kind of expression for it.