Kellie’s Blog: Carb-free living basically sucks
Kellie’s Blog: Carb-free living basically sucks

After 5 days of starving myself — even though I was cramming my mouth with as much meat and approved veggies as I could handle — only to lose 4.5 pounds in 2 days, gain 2 on Day 3, and then not budge Days 4 and 5, I went carb-crazy. It started off innocently enough. It was Saturday morning. I opened up the pantry to find a half-eaten box of Mojo bars. I couldn’t find the time to finish them off before I decided to go off on this enlightened carb-free way of life so they were just sitting there going stale. Wouldn’t that be a shameful waste? And what could ONE hurt? Obviously, my no carbs way of life wasn’t causing the scale to budge, and DANG IT! I was HUNGRY!! I’d gone to bed hungry and woken up hungry every freaking day that week. Why couldn’t my Saturday start off with one stinking carb-loaded Mojo bar??

skittlesbagBefore the weekend was over, I had carb-loaded like a person preparing for a coast-to-coast marathon. I’m ridiculous. My tongue is completely torn up from the amount of potato chips I shoved into my face. I was bloated and embarrassed by my behavior when I went to bed — after one last handful of Skittles, of course. I was out of chips. But then I woke up Monday morning and stepped on that bathroom scale to find that after two days of out of control, crazy nuts bingeing, I had gained one pound. So that means after the first full week of living my “carb-free” way of life, I have lost a net total of 1.5 pounds.

So maybe this is the way to go? Is “starve yourself during the week and binge on the weekends” a new way of life? Is there a way for me to turn that into a book and DVD series so I can make my first million?

Looking forward to the week ahead. I might do something crazy — like get my hair cut. I feel like BANGS.