So nobody goes to see Medieval Times twice in a six-week period unless A) you have a kid who’s an uber jousting fan, or B) mommy thinks one of the knights is really hot.

In this case, I’m afraid mommy has crossed over into knight groupie status. It’s one thing to think a knight is really hot and maybe even tweet about it to your friends. “Isn’t he the cutest knight ever? Tee-hee!” But it’s another thing to wait until after the show is over so you can stand outside in the lobby and wait for that sweaty knight to come drip testosterone all over you while you stage a photograph for this year’s Christmas card. It’s never too early to plan ahead, people. But I guess it’s time for me to figure out photoshop so I can somehow morph that knight outfit into a Christmas sweater…

And Emma Kelly’s bought into the whole idea of having a knight for a stepdaddy. I told her Mommy is working on it, but in the meantime, she keeps wanting me to play favorites. “Who do you think is better looking, Mommy:  the Black and White Knight or Greg Brady?” “Who do you love more, Mommy:  the Black and White Knight or David Hasselhoff?” (These are her points of reference thanks to her Brady Bunch obsession and a recent rerun of “Spongebob Squarepants.” You have to admit, during his “Baywatch” days, you would’ve done him…)

So now I’m trying to figure out how I’m going to convince all my mommy friends that we need to get together for a Girls Knight Out. Maybe they’ll go for it if I can convince them I’ve got an “in” with one of the knights. Plus, I heard those guys dig a chick who’s willing to eat with her hands and then mop herself off with a lemon-scented Wet-Nap.