I don’t know why when I meet people sometimes and they feel the need to say, “Oh, I don’t listen to you. I only listen to NPR.” Other than wanting to smack that smugness out of their mouths, I always think, “No, you don’t! You just SAY you listen to NPR because that makes you seem like you’re all smart and junk.” Pssht.

So I thought I’d try a little NPR experiment.I challenged myself to go for a week listening to nothing but NPR. It didn’t work out so well. I really would’ve stuck to it, but every time Emma Kelly got in the car with me, she whined, “This is so borrrrrrrrrrring….Can we PLEASE listen to something else????” I didn’t feel it was fair to force her to listen to this week’s big Flora vs. Fauna debate, so I obliged her with some brain cell-sucking pop music. But other than those happy moments with my daughter, I tried to give NPR a chance.

I listened to discussions on the myths and realities of the origins of fire, the motivations of war correspondents, the hours wasted on researching the origins of the word “kibosh” — can you believe that there’s no proven origin? I know! Wouldn’t you think its origins would be Yiddish? However, some believe its origins are actually Turkish. Who knew!!

So here’s the thing. Did I feel smarter listening to NPR? Yes. Am I going to listen to it again? Maybe. But if I do, will I tell people I listen to NPR? No. It would just lump me in with the other snobs who say they listen to it, too.

My next experiment? Paying retail. Yeah, right.