When you’re Monday night ends with a double vodka soda, is that a good way to start the week or a sign of things to come?
Let’s just say my Monday included coming close to puking in the middle of the hoity-toity gym, dog pee, more dog pee, calling my ex-husband to help me relocate a urine-saturated carpet, and then going off half-cocked on a text that I should probably regret but don’t….I blame it on the double vodka soda.
I never drink at home unless there are girlfriends and wine glasses involved. For some reason, that feels less loser-ish and more carefree and Cougar Town-like fun. But last night, right after I told Emma Kelly that a girl I graduated high school with was getting married this week and she asked me, “Is she old?” THAT’s when I decided I deserved a little vodka soda. I mixed it when my kid wasn’t looking, of course. I felt a bit alcoholic and loser-like in my need to hide it from her, but at least I didn’t go full-on Lindsay Lohan and try to pass off devil water in a water bottle. And as far as my kid was concerned, mommy sure seemed to feel a whole lot better after knocking back that sparkly water served over crushed ice.
I’m just hoping that Double Vodka Monday doesn’t turn into Tequila Tuesday. THEN I’ll know I have a problem.
By the way, dog pee ruins carpets. Especially brand new ones you just put down one month ago.