Ok, I now realize that due to the subject matter of this, the title of my blog should be different… especially since I used the word “lil”. Here’s the thing, Kinsey bought me a couple new pairs of jeans because they were on sale, and she thought they were “cute”. I am used to wearing button up jeans. I just like them better. I really think the zipper is the most dangerous thing a man can be near, so I try to stay away from them.
The jeans Kinsey bought me have zippers, which has created a huge problem: I forget to zip up… every single time. Not just going to the bathroom, but also when I get dressed. I end up noticing it every time, but only God knows how long it has been down. During Big Al’s party for Kidd last week with the staff, I walked on stage with my fly down. This morning, I did the first couple of breaks… with my fly down. Today I got home from the gym, changed to take Cason to the park… and once again, forgot to zip… which is something you don’t want to have happen at a park full of children. You know how bad it looks when a grown man reaches down there… even if I am only fixing my zipper? Noticing a pattern? It’s sad.
Here is my problem: I have had this happening for at least a month… and none of the ladies have noticed. I just realized that it should hurt my feelings.
Do women not look at us there? We look at the Boob Marleys. Not in a creepy way, but glance. It happens. So guys should expect a courteous glance from the ladies from time to time. I have not received that, because Kellie, Jenna, our Dish Nation producer Kim, our interns, our phone screener Lacy, our make up artist, and Dominique (our web genius)… all girls… have never informed me of my zipper wardrobe malfunctions… even Shanon is in that list, but I actually understand that one. It’s like me not telling them if their Nipoleon Dynamites were showing. We gotta look out for, and at, each other because that’s what friends do; we get each others backs, but that can’t happen if we don’t get help. So please, just make us feel manly and take glance from time to time, girls. It makes us feel cool, and could save us embarrassment in public places. Thank you.
I am done venting… but if you see this dude with his zipper in Mexico, tell him to bring it back to the US. Good times!
Also, my mind was blown on The Bachelorette. Why? Because my dude, Reality Steve got it wrong, for the first time EVER. I read the spoilers every season, and this whole time I thought Brooks was the winner. Well played, whoever tricked our boy… well played, indeed.
