J-Si’s Blog: My latest nightmare

Moving into a new house is super exciting, especially when it’s your first purchase! It’s bigger, it feels like a hotel, and we should be getting some internets here soon. The wildcard when it comes to moving are the neighbors… am I right, or am I right? It’s like going shopping, or driving, or to the courthouse. You really never know what, or who you are going to have to deal with. Those things are temporary, but neighbors could, potentially, be forever. I always wanted that cool neighbor who plays video games, lives with two girls, and lets me walk in and eat his food at any time. So far, this has never happened. I have yet to meet my neighbors. I have met a couple people on my street, but my immediate neighbors to the right and to the left, have not been a part of my life yet.

Yesterday, I got my first glimpse of one of those next door neighbors. I walked into my room after getting home. Got in my underwear, like I normally do, and looked up. I was next to my window, and noticed a cool looking statue of an old woman on a bench. It looked so real that I found myself mesmerized by it. It was even holding a pencil, wearing a hat, and a book. All of a sudden, the hand moved very, very slowly. It freaked me out. I called Kinsey into the room, and she thought it was a cool backyard decor piece. Yes, I said “decor”… ma bad, fellas! The head started moving and the statue started writing. It was not a statue of a really old woman… it WAS a really old woman. This could be good or bad, because I don’t know what will happen when my balls go over the fence… is she one of the “I keep all balls in my backyard” type of old lady? Is she one to call the police, or as Al calls them, Police when there is any sort of noise? These are questions I do not know, but what I do know is that I kept waking up last night because I kept picturing my neighbor standing in my room with a weird grin… is that considered a nightmare? I think it is… I kept waking up feeling some angst. How do I get rid of this problem? Do I go meet her? What if she’s an extreme cougar and tries to holler? Most importantly, am I going to be able to play my NWA, Tupac, and Eminem albums at full blast without having the cops called on me?