Isn’t it crazy how we can let the days go by and not really care… after all, tomorrow will come. Heck, I am 30 years old, I have at least 40-50 great years ahead of me before I head off to a nursing home to do some old man pimpin 😉 We spend the entire week, starting on Monday, hoping for Friday to arrive. How many times have we really taken an entire week in, and cherished every single day? Vacations don’t count. Everybody cherishes those days. I know I am not talking like me usual self. No laughing at the mention of body parts. No poo gas jokes. Cason didn’t break anything today… never mind, he just broke a candle. Good timing.
I had a bittersweet moment today. We have a family member, Mark, who is in the prime years of his life, that may not be with us very much longer. He’s not a blood relative, but he works with us, and we are family at work. Heck, I see the people I work with more than I see my family and friends back home. The only people I may see more, and it may actually be a tie, are Kinsey and Cason. Before we left for London, we were informed that this incredibly kind, quiet, funny, witty, and reliable man only had 3 weeks left. Talk about a blow. It’s a weird feeling. I have lost people close to me, but it was abrupt or old. This is different. It’s a feeling of helplessness because you really can’t do anything at all.
It’s been well over 3 weeks… and he is still with us. Today we went to visit him. Kellie brought it up after we got off the air, and Jenna and I told her we wanted to go. I really felt like I needed to go. So we made the trek out to a nursing home. He is no longer in a hospital, because there is nothing they can do there for him… so he is in a nursing home with people in their 80s, 90s, maybe older. This man who is only a few years older than I am… is in a nursing home. This man who we all shared laughs with, the man who drove me to other cities when I had an event to attend (to babysit me and make sure I acted more around 16 years of age instead of the typical 13 that I let loose with), the man who would ask me for my favorite songs of the week so he could download them, the man who I had conversations with for hours during our trips, the man who made sure you were comfortable, the man who was always smiling, bright eyed, and bought the office candy… was lying in a bed, motionless, with his eyes closed, and unable to talk. Ever been punched in the stomach? That’s what it felt like.
My first instinct? Honestly, I wanted to cry. I wanted to be able to give him a hug, and tell him he will be ok, and that I will see him at work next week. Instead, I stood there, unable to come up with anything to say. The nurse told us he could hear, and that he MAY respond with slight movements. Kellie sat down next to him and updated him on her life, and how the office was doing. He moved his arms a bit. She talked to him for a few minutes, stood up, and had me sit down next to him. I sat there quietly, I looked up at her and mouthed, “I don’t know what to say.” I felt like I would lose it. Jenna was already crying a lil bit, so that was not helping. haha. So Kellie just mentioned that I had gone to Wichita this past weekend. That was the event she did last year, and he had gone with her. So I told him that Greg Jake came with me this year and that I was slightly upset that he did not buy me Chick-fil-A. Mark would stop at Chick-fil-A during every road trip and buy me a chicken breast sandwich so that I could east healthy. That’s the thoughtfulness he brought to the table. When I said that, he tried to laugh, and gave a smile. He then opened his eyes a lil bit and said, “Oh my goodness. J-Si… Jenna!” Wow! I really did not expect that. That gave me comfort, and I was able to talk to him, and then Jenna sat down and talked to him as well. He seemed to be pretty responsive.
How did we finish our visit with our good buddy? We made him watch Dish Nation 🙂 Hey, we need to get some ratings going. His nurse actually said she would put the show on for him twice a day so he could hear our voices.
I walked out of there happy because I got to see him, but I felt anger, which I am sure is normal. Why him? But, you can’t go through life asking “why?” We had great memorable moments with him. He brought us joy. What more can you ask for? It’s one of those moments where you realize that tomorrow is not guaranteed to be like today. Everything can change in a instance. Think about that next time Monday rolls around, and you are already wishing Friday would get here 🙂
Also, why did the Doogie Hawser theme song just play in my head as I wrote that? Weird.