Hitting a rough patch in the breakup. Though I’ve been way more emotionally stable this time around, I am struggling to convince myself that he’s not a terrible person. I guess that’s how it goes when breakups don’t end amicably. I find myself sometimes getting lost in thought going, “He’s just a bad guy”. Did I fall in love with a bad person? Or did he just do selfish things? I know anger is a stage of grieving, but I think I want to just be fine.
The moment I always know I’m totally over someone is when I see them and they kind of gross me out. Right now, I just feel more grossed out with myself for allowing that to happen again. Yuck. Maybe it’s all the cookie dough I ate after crying over the Sex and the City movie. It always gets me. Why the hell would I subject myself to that? Oddly, I have hardly cried in the past 3 weeks. Maybe once or twice, which is way less than my normal rate. I’ve turned to watching dark, scary things because it’s like my rap music. Void of emotion and a nice escape. I rewatched all 6 episodes of The Jinx. Talk about outstanding television. Surely this won’t turn out to be another Casey Anthony situation. This guy clearly murdered at least 3 people. I might give up on our country if he escapes the law this time.