Is it awful of me to want to hire a maid? I know I should be able to scrub my own toilets and vacuum my own floors, but I don’t waaaaaaaaant toooooooooooooo………..(Does that sufficiently translate into whining?) It’s all I can do to figure out what to make for supper every night. Oh! Can I hire a personal chef, too?? No? Too much?
I think that’s what I’d do if I had stupid money. But I wouldn’t just hire a chef…I’d hire a grocery shopper, a maid, a stylist, a professional blow dryer….Yes, I know rich people who have a professional beauty parlor chair in their house and every single morning somebody comes over and professionally blow-dries their hair. How awesome is that!! And I wouldn’t apologize for my stupid money, either. I’d love every dime of it. Because even though I’d be writing checks to chefs, maids and blow-dryers, I’d still be shopping at the Dollar Tree so my money karma would be in complete balance.
Meantime, what is up with me and the 25-year-old man? I can’t get a man my own age to look twice at me, but put me in a room packed wall-to-wall with 25-year-old men and the odds are at least one of them will want him some Kellie Rasberry. Now, what am I supposed to do with that? I know that “cougar” thing was all trendy for a hot minute, but is it still? Did the collapse of the Demi/Ashton marriage signal the collapse of the Cougar Era? There’s nothing worse than being on the tail end of a trend. I mean, there IS a reason Ed Hardy had a clearance sale. But if you throw out everything in your closet and re-stock your wardrobe with nothing but Ed Hardy tees and jeans you just bought for 90 percent off, then you’re going to look a bit foolish. I’m just saying. And I don’t want to be the one looking foolish.
I guess I need to have a come-to-Jesus with my own closet. But I can enjoy the 25-year-old just a little bit longer, can’t I? I know I’m on the tail end of attracting them anyway, so I might as well.