It’s official. On Sunday I will experience my very first Father’s Day… ok, I have experienced Father’s Day, but only as a son. This is a whole different ball game. I wish I could describe the feeling I get every day I go pick Cason up. Or when he smiles at me. Or when he makes his lil baby babble noise when he sees me for the first time. Or when he grabs my face and pulls me in to bite my face. Or when he sticks his arms out for me, so that I can grab him and help him take lil steps around the house. These are emotions I have never experienced before, and the only way to experience them is to enter parenthood. I do get a sense of fear, because I want to make sure he has the best upbringing possible, and because I don’t know what the future holds, but listening to Kidd talk about his daughter yesterday, and how proud he is of her gets me excited. It gets me excited because this is not one of those relationships that has the possibility of dwindling, and fading away, this is a bond that was created the moment he was born, and will grow stronger and stronger with each day, until he reaches his teenage years, then it becomes a lottery, from what I understand.
I get asked this a lot: what is the best part of being a dad. You know what? I don’t know what the best part is, the answer may be different for every dad. Maybe its the fact that the most annoying things that Cason does still make me smile. Like when he grabs my bowl of soup and spills it on my lap, or when he tries to drink my beer when I am holding him, or his incredible scream when he is hungry. Maybe its the fact that he needs me to survive. Or that he is a spitting image of me when I was a kid. To me, the best part of being a dad is being able to learn from the mistakes of my bio dad. In a way, I can thank him for the way things turned out. He is the reason I strive to be the best father I can be. Then there’s my dad, he gives me the drive to be there for Cason no matter what. Ever since he met my mom, he took me in, went to all my sporting events, was there for the biggest events of my life. I am lucky. I had a dad there for me.
There are men out there who will go through fathers day, knowing they have a child somewhere out there, and they are not experiencing what I get to experience with my son… they may think they are avoiding problems, but they are missing out on the greatest thing a man can experience. I know Father’s day is supposed to be about me, but since Cason has no idea what is happening in the world, I came up with this. I am going to write him a letter, and save it for him. I don’t know when I will give him this letter. Maybe his high school graduation, maybe his wedding, maybe when we have our first father son fight, but its is going to be there, with all the amazing feelings and emotions I feel being a daddy for the first time.
So happy father’s day to all the dads out there… and to me! ha! Isn’t that weird?
Awesome Cason moment of the day? Yesterday while he was getting his bath, he had his obligatory pee in the tub moment, except this time he saw it happening and tried to grab his own pee. I know it sounds gross, but it was pretty hilarious. He then got frustrated because you can’t grab a liquid and started crying. Good times!