Yesterday, after going to the mall to get a new shirt to wear to a party last night, I thought I’d lie down on the couch to take a short nap. I woke up 3 hours later. I slept right through the party. I had even given my Basketball game tickets away to free me up to go to this event with Kidd and Kellie. UGH! And this was a party with hot chicks, celebrities and free food and drinks! My kind of party…and I slept right through it.
Hunny #2 has left the curling iron on my bathroom counter. This is actually the 3rd item that has somehow moved into my apartment. The first was the toothbrush. I’m ok with that. Good dental hygiene is very important, so I didn’t say anything about that. but the rat tail comb and the curling iron? Ok, I know she needs to look good and take care of the wig. I get that. I just don’t want to look up one day and see that there are 47 different chemicals all around my bathroom one day. I would say maybe 5 items is enough, right? I talked to edith yesterday. Edith is the manager of the Beer Bucket, my bar in Mexico. She is pretty much the one person that has run the bar and I trust her. but she is the only person that I really know well and trust. Well, she has given me her notice. She’s quitting. She is tired and burnt out. What in the heck? I have no idea who I will get to run the bar now. The last two people that I have sent down there to help run the bar have both ended up laying on the beach all day drinking. I don’t have a very good track record with finding and sending Americans to Mexico to work.
So, since Kellie has decided to not be present at the Kellie Rasberry Birthday celebration featuring Coolio, I have no choice but to replace her. Now the search has begun. Who will I get to replace Kellie? Well, the first thing I have done is to search for celebrities that have a birthday within two weeks of Kellie’s. Either before or after. So, here’s who I have come up with:
Jon Gosselin: ok, he can’t be too busy, right? and would be interesting to talk to…well, maybe not.
Susan Boyle: she could sing an opera version of Gangsta’s Paradise.
Amanda Bynes: hmmn, nice to look at.
Eddie Murphy: he could sing that Butt song, maybe tell a few jokes
David Blaine: maybe a couple card tricks?
Maya Angelou: poetry, duh!
Billy Dee Williams: could trim his stache!
Cynthia Nixon: the ugly chick from Sex/city.
Steven Segal, Joss Stone, Brooklyn Decker, David Letterman, Al Green, Martin Lawerence, there are so many options… stay tuned for an update on the soon to be renamed, Kellie Rasberry Birthday celebration.