Big Al’s Blog: Air Spank Gone Wrong
Big Al’s Blog: Air Spank Gone Wrong

If someone had just happened to wander into the wrong apartment last night, well, my door was unlocked. Inside, you would have found a 240 pound butt naked black man asleep on my bed on top of all of the covers. I was so exhausted, I just got out of the shower, I tried to watch a little of the Sunday Night Football game but that wasn’t happening. Fortunately, I did have the forethought to set my alarm clock or I would still be sleeping right now. It was a BUSY weekend.

matHow come after a busy weekend like this, I really can’t tell you much that happened? It was my busiest day of the year at my bar and I really cant tell you 3 things that happened. I know that after going to bed on Friday night at around 3am, I woke up on Saturday morning at 6:15am and I didn’t see my bed again until 3:30a the next morning. Its like my grandmother was getting me ready for parties like this all during my childhood. She used to have these big parties at her house where all of our relatives would come over and sit and eat and talk and laugh. When I was a child, I thought those parties were a beating. But now, I think back on them and I have to say thanks to my granny. She showed me how to do it. Fast forward to now and I’m having parties like she did but mine are on steroids. We had 4 security guys on staff, 4 Police officers, an 18 wheeler party bar, beer tubs, porto-potties, tents, 15 Tv’s on the patio and parking lot, 25 Tvs inside, Valet Parking, we bought $13,000 worth of beer, we made over 1000 jello shots, we had breakfast, lunch and dinner served, hundreds of bags of ice, thousands of chicken wings, we rented an extra dumpster, whew…the list goes on and on. It was a serious undertaking. All of our employees worked 16 hours minimum. It was a load, but we got it done. And just like that, its over. To me, The anticipation of a big event is way better than the event itself. At least it lasts longer. It’s like a kid waiting on Christmas. You spend weeks and maybe months waiting on that One Special day and then in the blink of an eye, its gone. And in my case, as great as that day was, I really can’t tell you much that happened. It just flew right by in front of my very own eyes.

I can tell you this. At around 11pm, all of my customers got a “Big Al Karaoke Concert.” I guess I decided that after such a long day, it was time to “Let Loose” a little. I probably sang 4-5 songs in a row. It was awesome… at least for me. But if you were one of the people who was there, I do apologize for putting you through that. Caroline Kraddick did show up for the days festivities. She and Kidd would always come to the bar to watch the TX/OU game. It was like the one day that they would come to my bar together along with about 10 of her friends and spend the afternoon laughing, talking, and hanging out. And now that he’s gone, I have elected myself to the position of her “Black Daddy.” So  I got up to sing my first Karaoke song and I introduced her to the crowd. Then, we sang “Killing me Softly” (the Fugees version), together. It was awesome. And at some point during the song, something came over me during the instrumental part of the song. We were kinda dancing a little and I think I may have kinda, accidentally Spanked Caroline. It was an honest mistake. If there is such a thing. OH, MY, GOD! You know that move that people make when they are simulating the spanking motion. They pull the hand way back in the air and “Air Spank.” Well, I did that and then my Air Spank somehow transitioned into a real spank. Well, we finished the song and I remember saying to myself, Oh My God, I just spanked Kidd’s Daughter. Sorry Caroline! Love you.

I think that was my biggest flub over the weekend. How about you? Any Noteworthy flubs that you care to confess?