I personally have thought that Kinsey used “pregnancy brain” as an excuse for small lapses in judgement. Turns out, according to Kinsey, that “pregnancy brain” is a real thing. She looked it up in some app she has. It has to do with her hormones and with some blood blockage to the brain. I have not looked it up to verify it, because I find the things she is doing lately, to be completely hilarious. In the past couple of days, she has done things that just make me scratch my head in disbelief… but she has that “pregnancy brain” to fall back on, which can apparently last a few more months after birth. I am starting to wonder if you can be born with it. Here are a few of the weird, quirky, things Kinsey did:

1. Laundry: She is having lots of trouble with the washing machine. On Thursday, I heard her turn the washer on… after the washing machine ran its cycle, she asked me to throw the load into the dryer. So I walked into the laundry room, opened the washing machine, and yelled, “where are the clothes?!” Kinsey came into the room, looked into the machine, did a cute face palm, and said, “crap! I forgot to load the machine!” What a waste of water! The very next day… yes, the very next day, I got home and heard the washing machine doing work already. I joked and asked if she put clothes in it this time, and she just gave me that smirk that girls give when they wanna throw a few choice words at you. Machine finished, she walked in there, and then I heard her bust out laughing. I went in there to check it out. She had in fact loaded the machine this time… with three socks. That is it. Apparently, her sister called her when she was starting to load the machine, and she closed the lid and started it, for some odd reason.

Let’s move to the dryer. She loads the clothes in there, but then does not start the machine, and lets the wet clothes sit for over a day. Makes them smell like a 13 year old boy’s shoes. Yeah, we all know what those smell like.

2. Cooking: She has been craving pancakes the last month, so she gets down on them for dinner sometimes. I still like to eat some chicken. I keep it simple. Chicken with siracha hot sauce, some broccoli, and rice. Boom! No big deal. Unfortunately, I did not enjoy my food on Saturday because Kinsey poured maple syrup on my chicken and rice. I love maple syrup, but it doesn’t go well with chicken in my opinion. I still ate it, in case you were wondering.

And today’s episode:

3. Husband abuse: Kinsey was going to her friend’s house. I help her load Cason into his car seat, because it’s tough for her to do it. So I went out there, strapped him in, gave her a kiss goodbye, and waved bye, as I watched her back up, and drive away. I walked back to our front door, twisted the doorknob, and realized that I was locked out. No shoes, no shirt… big problem. I also had no phone, no wallet, and no money, which totally makes it easy to get a locksmith to help out. I would have chased after her, but I realized that concrete is hot, and she was already to far to catch up to. So what did I do? I grabbed some of the mail in the mail box, and used the envelopes to walk on, as I walked three blocks to her sister’s house. There I am. Half naked, dropping an envelope, picking it up, turning around, and doing it again, just to cross the street, until I got to grass. I eventually made it to my sister in-law’s house, got the spare key, and headed back. Her boyfriend offered to give me a ride, but I declined, this way I could milk every bit of her mistake. I need a couple “get out of trouble with the wife cards”.

Good times.