For the last few months, I have been waiting for this to finally take place. It’s not every day that you get to be on Oprah’s network. As time passed, I thought about it more and more. In a way, it started eating away at me. What if this ruins my family? What if it turns into some sort of TV circus? What if this changes how people view me and ruins my career? What if my parents lose their jobs? There would be questions like these that I would continuously have coming in and out of my head. Pretty nutty, considering I thought this process would be simple… and not viewed by millions.

Well, I have expressed my fears, but this is how I feel about this huge event of my life being on television. I actually have no qualms about how everyone was portrayed. It is so easy to make someone look like the “hero” and make another person the “villain”. Most shows have one of each, right? This was my biggest fear. Who would be the “villain”. I didn’t think about this when we asked for help. After watching most of those type of shows, I realized, there’s usually a “villain”. It’s TV, you need someone to root against.

Luckily, I don’t believe there were any “villains”. They did a great job with cutting hours of tape into one hour, and fitting the entire story. Did they edit some things that impact, and sway opinions one direction? Yes, But I respect that. I never want to be viewed as a victim. There are people in worse situations. What happened in my family happens more frequently than you think. Putting this on TV will hopefully show others that don’t listen to our show, that they are not the only ones. There is an extreme sense of loneliness and rejection that come from this situation… knowing I am not the only one has definitely helped me… and my mom.

You know what makes me even happier? Oprah freaking Winfrey said my name! hahaha! What made me feel good was this tweet: “@Oprah: Jose’s stepfather is the one who brought me to tears. Could you feel his heart and sincerity?”

I still think that my dad is the biggest stud in the world for taking me in as his own. I am glad that the world gets to see that.

Now for the truth. You know what I was doing while the show was airing? I was at an event with free drinks and free food. Yup, I still was not sure if I was going to watch. So I did what any smart person would do: I got drunk. I know, sounds stupid, but it made sense in my head. We got home at 10 pm. Paid the babysitter, and made the decision to watch it. Kinsey started crying about 3 seconds into it. I did tear up a couple of times. BUT! I can finally tell you the couple of things that made me chuckle during the show:

1. If you saw the show, you saw my mom splashing around in the pool, wearing her clothes. I could not hear anything going on over there. In fact, I had my back to that whole situation. Next thing I know, I see Kinsey pointing from inside the house, I turn, and my mom is splashing away in the water. That was the moment I started wondering, “what the hell is happening?” and “why is this kinda funny?” Watching the show, that was definitely compelling and dramatic. WIthout knowing what was happening, it was hilarious. My grown mother, in a pool, in her clothes, crying, slapping the water, while a very spiritual black woman screams at her. You don’t see that every day.

2. This one involves Kinsey:
Kinsey: nobody came out looking bad.
Me: I know. I am so glad. And they didn’t include the part where Yana told you to zip it.
Kinsey: Good… but I don’t think I had any lines in the show.

Hahira! Kinsey! Lines?!? Like this was some sort of movie. This is what makes being married to Kinsey fun. She says the most random, cute, and funny things.

So, this is past us. Things are getting better, and Oprah said my name. Hope this helped some people. I have been receiving some amazing emails from people who have gone through this, and that made this all worth it!

Video: Watch J-Si on Iyanla Fix My Life