I always had this idea engrained in my head that I needed to learn how to play golf. Growing up, my dad would always go to the diving range and he explained to me that he was teaching himself how to play golf because it would help him in business. He was always getting asked to go play a round with other businessmen and he said it was crucial that he learn how to get to a playable level. I’ve always been that naturally super athletic type. Most sports besides skiing have always come naturally to me.
That being said, golf is tough. It has nothing to do with strength or coordination. Some of the best golfers are terribly un-athletic. I worked super hard for years during college and after when I had more time, going to the driving range learning how to make contact with the golf ball. I have always had this mentality that a girl knowing how to golf would be a selling point when it came time to find a mate. A girl who can golf?! Marry her. That kind of thing. Of course, I’m not a member at any golf course and the past few years, I have only been able to play golf on that rare occasion I have a sorta boyfriend who wants to play when we are on vacation. If you’ve ever tried golfing before, you understand that swinging a club once or twice a year does nothing. Okay, let’s get into the humiliating part of this story. My sorta boyfriend is great at golf. He goes on golf trips, he plays Fri-Sun when the weather is nice. He is an outstanding non-pro golfer. I used to bug him about taking me to play because that means some sort of hang out time. The last time I swung a club was in July in Costa Rica. We were the only people on the course, so I could hit multiple shots, take my time, have some beers, get some and just totally relax even though I wasn’t playing great. 7 months later, he asks me if I want to play golf at his nice club in town on Sunday morning with his brother and another girl who is an 8 handicapped. This means this girl is serious business and knows how to golf.
I was torn because I know he is making effort to invite me to do things because I always bitch about spending more time together…blah blah blah. My best friend told me I needed to do it even if I wasn’t ready, because I need to acknowledge that he is making effort. Internally I was thinking how I just needed a day at the driving range, but there’s no time for that, so I will have to go into this round unprepared. Sunday morning comes and I’m flustered as all get out. I throw everything out of my workout clothes drawer trying to find my only golf shorts. I haven’t had breakfast, I haven’t had coffee and now we are late for our 10 am t off. No time to even warm up at the range. Just as we are about to hit the first t, a woman from the pro shop approaches my boyfraand and whispers something to him. He tells me, I have to buy more appropriate shorts in the pro shop. WHAT? These are golf shorts and the longest ones I own. The rule is apparently no more than 3 inches above the knee. It brought me back to those days of the slutty catholic school girl who had to do a pleated skirt check at school with the nuns. So my only option was a pair of high-waisted, camel toe inducing ankle biter ladies golf pants. UGHHHH. So onto the round. I basically had 9 holes of putt putt. It was worse than a day at the dentist. I had to text my best girlfriend for moral support. It’s just a game, tears in my eyes, have fun, hands shaking. I promise I’m not that bad. I played worse than I have since BEFORE I learned how to play golf. It was so bad, the 200 dollar guest fee was waived entirely at the end of the round. I was so uncomfortable. Was I set up to fail? Should I have said no, ask me next time and gone to the driving range this week to prepare? Probably. I always preach how you need to be uncomfortable sometimes and just enjoy the time you are spending with someone else. I was playing another course the whole time literally. Hitting into other people’s fairways, chipping onto the green of the wrong hole. Does a guy even want me to know how to play golf? Should I give up all together and just learn how to cook so I can have something ready for the MEN when they come home from doing MAN STUFF?!