I spent the evening attempting to organize my closet, but it’s a bigger mess now than when I started. First, I went to the Dollar Tree to get a bunch of shoe boxes, but they were shaped kinda cutesy weird and when I got then home, none of my size 9s fit into them. Ugh. So I went to good old reliable Target and guess what — their basic shoe boxes are 97 cents!! So I wiped out what they had, but needed more. I went to a second Target and they were sold out. I had to go to THREE TARGETS to get enough shoe boxes, and I’m still a few short. Ugh again. My next project will be to get out my label gun and tag all my nice new plastic shoe boxes so I’ll know what’s inside without opening them. Is that a very important business meeting on my agenda? I’ll just grab my NUDE PUMPS/WOODEN HEEL. What’s that? I have a date on Friday night? Then I’ll just put on my special BLACK STRAPPY HEELS. Oh…he’s only 5’9″? Well, put those back and grab my BLACK PATENT FLATS. See?? My closet has now become Fantasy Land — a magical place where I have shoes to wear to important business meetings and fancy dates!

But after putting my shoes in all those plastic boxes and before I started going crazy nuts with my label gun, I remembered I hadn’t pulled out all my summer clothes. So I went under my bed and pulled out my two storage bins, and it was like White Pants-Palooza. I don’t know what I was thinking but it must’ve been that I look awfully good in white jeans because DANG, I own a lot of white jeans! Straight leg, skinny leg, flare leg, cropped….it’s really ridiculous. And the really ridiculous part is I probably can’t zip a single pair of them all the way up right now without risking severe feminine issues. If my body had responded like it was SUPPOSED to after a 24-hour flu, I would’ve dropped a good 5 or 6 pounds and then I’d be able to zip those suckers up. But no….after a night of stomach-wrenching and retching misery, I awoke to find I’d lost one half of one miserable pound. What a waste of the flu.

Off to read a little of Andy Cohen’s new book! So excited to talk to him tomorrow and I want to impress him by knowing more about him than ANYBODY.